Unglued
by livelovelaugh91
Summary: Eli and Clare are broken up. Will Eli's struggle for sanity and Clare's need for normalcy bring them back together or keep them apart once two new students are added into the mix? Rated M. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi**

_So this story is basically about Eli and Clare dating (other people, not each other) after the big breakup. There are going to be four main characters with four POV's… Eli, Clare, Jared ( OC) and Olive (OC). Reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading!_

**Clare**

I walked up the steps of Degrassi with Alli. I'm a junior at last! I'm one year closer to being a senior. I looked behind me halfway expecting to see Morty until I remembered the "incident" with he who shall not be named. Last year was crazy to say the least. I just hope this year can be normal.

Once I entered Degrassi I spotted him. The uniform policy was lifted, thank goodness, so he was wearing his signature all black attire. He looked…like he always looks. He was listening to his music with a pair of huge sound cancelling headphones. Kind of like the ones he gave me. I walked past him expecting him to say something to me but he didn't. I guess after I cut off all communication with him he got the message but I have to admit that it still hurts to see him. Even though _Elijah _put me through hell last year I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him. These have to be normal feelings right? I mean he was the first guy I loved. Sure I had feelings for KC but I _loved_ Eli… Sometimes more than I loved myself. It was scary loving somebody that hard and Eli's erratic behavior only made the fear worse. Now normal is what I need to start fresh. I need a nice normal relationship with maybe some afterschool activities.

"Looks like that freak finally got the message."

"Alli…"

"Okay I'm sorry. I forgot that I'm not allowed to badmouth him. Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just asking… Clare we are grade eleven now. We will totally dominate the school."

"Alli aren't you getting a bit carried away?"

"Nonsense! We will join every club and make tons of friends. We will get our driver's licenses."

"I'm with you on that one but for now let's just get to homeroom."

While we were walking I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned around to see that it was Adam. We greeted with and hug and we chatted a bit.

"So how was your summer Adam?"

"It would have been better if I didn't have to babysit Eli…"

"…"

"Oh I forgot. I'm not allowed to mention him around you."

"No its fine. Really… It's a new year."

"Well I should be getting to home room. I will see you at lunch."

"Sure thing."

When I made it to my homeroom class I got seated and I started to draw. I was in a world of my own until I was interrupted. This guy with shaggy red hair and piercing blue eyes tapped me on the shoulder. I looked back and was a little shocked by how handsome he was.

"Hi I'm Jared."

"I'm Clare."

"I was wondering do you know where some guy named Armstrong's class is."

"You new here?"

"Yeah… I just moved here."

"Well… I can't really tell you how to get there but I could show you. My class is right beside yours."

"Great. Thanks Clare."

He looks normal enough.

**Eli**

"Adam I have no car and no girlfriend… why would you think I'm suicidal?"

"Eli you have been acting oddly calm lately."

"Maybe all this therapy is finally working."

"Or maybe you had a nervous breakdown. Do me a favor and give me a warning if you decide to shoot up the school."

"I could never hurt anybody… not intentionally."

"Look I know you are sad about Clare not wanting to be with you anymore but you have to get over it."

"You know the sound of your voice tickles while it's flowing in one ear, past my brain and out the other."

"You know what, have your pity party but don't say I didn't try and get you to be happy."

"How can I be happy my life is a fucking mess? I wish I'd died that night."

"Well I don't. Come on dude life isn't _that_ bad."

"Adam my parents replaced all the knives and forks with plastic sporks. I can't even take Advil without them administering to me, when I go out I have to be back by curfew and tell them exactly what's going on because they call and check and if they are going out I have to either go with them or be watched. It's fucking depressing."

"Wow dude…you are in jail but it will get better once you get better."

"Adam I'm going to stop you right there. I'd rather be in jail than at home… I'd rather be shanked in the kidneys than have to have all my food be pre-cut so that I won't have access to a knife."

While I was in the middle of feeling sorry for myself something very entertaining and exciting happened. Some girl started kicking some guy's ass. He was bleeding and everything and he was even fighting back, he was just losing horribly.

"I'm not like my sister you piece of shit! Not like her at all!"

A coach came and broke it up. The guy limped away and she paced in front of the building still fuming. She happened to see me looking.

"What are you looking at Canadian Gothic?"

"Me?"

"Well who else?"

"Oh I was looking at you kick his ass."

"Hope you got a good show."

She started to walk off and Adam looked at me strangely.

"What? That's the most entertaining thing I've seen in months! You know Bullfrog and Cece have taken away my media. I wonder who her sister is."

"Satan."

"Be more specific."

"Bianca DeSousa."

"But that girl was black."

"They have the same mom but a different dad… her name is Olive and she's a junior."

"Oh…How do you know so much?"

"You forget that my brother is dating her sister…"

"Oh right…how is that odd romance anyway?"

"Odd. My mom hates Bianca; Drew loves Bianca so the fighting ensues."

"Well…"

"So I'm about to walk to the Dot to hang with Clare and the gang… you coming?"

"No."

"Aw come on man… it won't be weird."

"Adam nobody wants me there. You go and have fun. I have homework anyway."

"Homework on the first day of school?"

"Maybe another time dude."

I went home and I went straight to my room. Luckily I was able to sneak in without Cece hearing me. I started writing in my journal. Sure, I still miss Clare and I wish I had half a chance but mostly now I just want her to be happy so I'm leaving her alone. It took everything I had in my not to speak to her today in the hall but I held my tongue and I didn't even look at her even though her vanilla fragrance took my breath away. I was dumb and selfish last year, I see that now but I just wanted her so much. I wanted her to want me that way I needed her. I wanted her to never leave me like Julia did. I just wanted Clare… unfortunately Clare didn't

want me.

**Jared**

This place is really nice. It's called _The Dot_. Now I'm thinking the move from Bruceton wasn't so bad. Tennessee to Toronto is a hell of a change. This city is huge but I'm sure I can conquer it. Just like I conquered the summer tryouts for the football team. While I was sitting at the bar enjoying my burger Clare from homeroom came and tapped me on the shoulder. She's beautiful and she seems really friendly.

"Hi Jared."

"Hi Clare…"

"Well my friends and I were wondering if you wanted to sit with us unless you are here with some of your teammates…QB2."

"No I'm not with anybody… I can sit with you for a spell."

"Great."

Her friends seemed really nice.

"So Jared where are you from?"

"Bruceton Tennessee."

"From the states… that's cool. I love your accent by the way."

"I like yours too."

We chatted for a while about where I was from, and then we talked about what there is to do around here. The move was rather sudden so I didn't have time to really check out the location. With a father like mine, when you move it has to be sudden and discreet because he's got the nose of a damn bloodhound and fists of steel…especially when he's drunk.

**Olive**

It makes me so mad that I'm always living in Bianca's shadow. Every school we go to people just assume that because she's the whore of the century I am too. I'm not like her at all. I sat at the dinner table still fuming from the fight I got in with that loser who asked if I wanted to go to the boiler room with him… I could have clawed his eyes out!

"Olive you haven't touched your food."

"I'm not hungry ma."

"At least eat the meat. I don't want those pricks at school saying I don't feed you."  
>"Mom Olive is just mad because you made her leave her boyfriend Vinny."<p>

"Shut up Bianca! Gosh you don't know anything!"

"Olive! Sit down!"

"Can I please be excused?"

"Fine… Go."

I went to my room, making it just before the tears started to rush down my cheeks. Vinny wasn't my boyfriend. He was a monster and I hate him. I hate everything including my own stupid life.

**Well what did you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Eli**

Cece dropped me off in front of Degrassi and honked the horn twice as she pulled away. This is so embarrassing. I could have walked but she insists on driving me here every morning. I noticed Clare on the front steps. She was beautiful and radiant. She looked so happy. I wanted to embrace her and kiss her soft pink lips or at the very least say hello to her but I can't and I won't because that would mean I'd have to back out on my promise to let her be happy. She hates me and just one word from me would probably ruin her day. Instead I walked right past, trying not to make eye contact or look in her direction at all. I felt Alli's eyes burning a hole through me. Why is little Bhandari looking at me?

**Clare**

Eli looks miserable. Every time I see him the look on his face says it. Alli doesn't make things any better either with the way she bad mouths him. I try to stop her but it never lasts for long. I walked into the school, sort of in a daze. I wonder why he doesn't at least say hello to me in passing. Even a friendly nod would do! I guess when I told him I didn't want to speak to him at all he decided to give me what I wanted. I should have been careful what I wished for. I saw Adam in the hallway while I was heading to my locker.

"Hi Adam."

"Hi Clare… so this afternoon is going to be epic!"

"Yeah a concert at above the Dot and all my friends. Is Eli coming?"

"No."

"He doesn't have to stay away I mean you are his friend too."

"I've told him that but he still won't come. He feels like nobody wants him there. He just wants you to be happy Clare and he feels like the only way that's possible is if he has no interaction with you at all."

"Well the freak is right…he's not wanted."

"Shut up Alli!"

"Clare what is your deal? Are you going to let him manipulate you again?"

"Alli look, yes Eli's relationship with me did get a little intense…okay a lot intense and he was manipulative because he was mentally ill and afraid of losing me. I don't regret breaking up with him but I don't hate him. And you don't even know him so you shouldn't hate him either."

"Fine…I'm going to class. I'll see you at lunch."

"Sure thing."

When Alli walked away Adam looked at me strangely before continuing our conversation.

"Like I was saying… he just wants you to be happy…"

"Well is he?"

"No. As soon as he got back from the nuthouse his parents put him on 24 hour suicide watch…even what he watches on TV and what websites he visits are limited. He has a curfew now and everything. It's a total lockdown."

"This is all my fault."

"No it's not Clare. Don't blame yourself. Eli's been through a lot…it was Julia, the hoarding, your break up…it was everything that sent him over the edge. The only upside to this is that all the drama he's going through will make for an interesting book one day."

"Adam that is such a messed up way to look at things. Look just tell him…tell him that I don't want to get back together with him or anything but he doesn't have to stay away completely… he needs friends. We all need friends."

I said goodbye to Adam and I walked on to class. I saw Eli in the hallways and he was looking down at some paper. I knew Adam would never get the message through so I walked over to him and I blocked his way.

"You know Morty would be very disappointed that you didn't say hello to me… You know how he liked me."

"How could I forget? Hi Clare…"

"Look I know this summer I said some harsh things and I said I didn't want to talk to you but things have changed and maybe we can be friends."

"Friends?"

"Friends, you know like we were before we started dating…you do know how to hang with a girl without pitching woo right?"

"Yeah I can manage to swing that."

"Great so are you coming to the concert at Above the Dot?"

"I can't…I have….plans."

"Okay cool… See you around."

"Yeah see you around."

**Jared**

No matter what country you are in…history is still the most boring subject. I struggled to stay awake in class. The bell was like an alarm clock because just when I was giving up and dozing off it chimed. It's time for lunch and I'm grateful for that. I need to recharge my batteries and have some grub. While I was walking someone called my name.

"Hey Jared!"

I looked back to see my teammate KC. I walked over to where he was standing and he started talking. He likes to talk a lot, especially about his baby and his girlfriend. I don't really mind though. It's not like I have anything to say.

"So now the baby has the colic and we've been up all night! I'm so exhausted. Be glad you don't have kids. You don't have kids do you?"

"No I don't have any kids."

"Well great! Never have any! I don't mean that… I love my son it's just that now… I wish we'd waited."

"If you can't take care of him why not give him to somebody who can?"

"Because he's my family and even though he needs me for everything I need him more."

We went to lunch and we sat with the rest of the team. I saw Clare walk in. She smiled and waved and I smiled back. KC noticed our subtle greeting.

"So you know Clare?"

"Yeah she's cool and she's totally hot."

"Yeah I know what you mean… I used to date her."

"Oh you did?"

"Yeah man but it's cool. It's not me you have to worry about though it's her recent ex Eli Goldsworthy…dude is a fucking lunatic. There he is over there."

"In all black? How did that relationship happen?"

"He's into literature; she's into literature…anyway just keep one eye open if you're going after Clare. He was obsessed with her. He crashed his car just because she broke it off with him…no telling how he'll react if there's actually competition."

I studied the guy. He was sitting at the table with that guy…Adam. He looked really frustrated. Other than his all black attire he doesn't look that scary. I mean the guy could stand some more muscle tone if you ask me. I'm not really worried about it. I mean there's a reason why he and Clare broke up and there's a reason why we met. I'm leaving it all to fate.

**Olive**

I was sitting in the lunchroom at a table by myself. I'm not really big on friends. While I was eating a guy came to my table and he started a conversation. I'm not a total prude so I talked to him for a while.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here?"

"Why would I? Its school."

"I know but I have…fifty dollars and…"

"What do you want?"

"I just assumed it was a 'family run' thing…"

I wanted to cry and yell. I wanted to hit this idiot across the head with my lunch tray but instead I left the cafeteria and I retreated into the hallway before the tears came. If I could go to another school I would but I can't. At our old school Bianca was a slut and because of her people thought I was too. Now that I've come to Degrassi I can see that things haven't changed. People still think I'm like her but I'm not! I'm nothing like Bianca. She just ruins everything for me. I can't wait until I graduate then I will never have to see her again.

It's her fault I get to fighting so much and her fault that…so many bad things have happened to me. Sometimes I wish I'd been aborted and sometimes I wish I would just get hit by a bus. I've never had the courage to step in front of one but I wish one would just knock me out of this world…out of this life.

**Eli**

I wish I could go out with Clare and the gang tonight but that concert is past my curfew. I know that's lame but it's true. I wasn't lying when I said I was on lockdown. After I ate I went out into the hallway to walk and listen to music. Walking the halls is something I like to do. Even though I know if I'm caught I'll be suspended I can't help it. I walked along the lockers until the overwhelming sound of sobbing broke through my music and headphones. I put them around my neck and looked in a crevice beside the lockers only to see the girl from yesterday, Olive, crying.

"Are you okay?"

"Just go away Canadian Gothic!"

"I do have a name you know… It's Eli."

"Well go away Eli. This doesn't concern you."

"Well you're crying pretty loud and if you persist it will concern Simpson and Suave."

"Who is Suave?"

"Ms. Suave…the school counselor."

"Oh."

There were a few minutes of silence and then I bid her goodbye. As I was walking away she called my name.

"What do you think of my sister?"

"Nothing because I don't know her. Why?"

"No reason."

I know why she asked me that question…she was trying to see if I was going to judge her based off of her sister's actions. People are so dumb to do that in the first place. That's like the old elementary school saying "one sour apple ruins the whole bunch." That's not true though because everyone has free will to make their own decisions so people shouldn't just bunch them together because of one individual's actions.

While I was walking towards the door I contemplated asking Olive to come with me. She seems interesting. Just as I was about to turn around I thought about the first time Clare and I skipped school. It was when I first knew she'd be special to me…. I walked out the door without inviting Olive. I don't need to negatively impact anyone else's life.

**Reviews please? Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jared**

I woke up to the sound of my mother crying. I haven't heard that since we left home. I went into the living room where she was sitting on the couch, staring at the frying TV while having a glass of wine.

"Mama… why are you crying?"

"I'm just wondering why I didn't do this sooner son. All of this pain and heartache could have been avoided but I was so weak."

"No Mama, you were strong. Daddy was the weak one putting his hands on you."

"No Jared I was weak because I let him hurt us both. I didn't care when he hurt me but when he hurt you I wanted to go."

"Mama just don't think about that right now. We are starting over."

"Yes, starting over."

I helped my mother get to her bed. I could tell she'd had a little too much to drink, and then I went back into my own room. I knew that was her way of healing but I wish she hadn't bought up any of that. My father's beatings and his abuse is something I don't care to think about. He's a horrible man with a horrible habit. The only upside is that he's too dumb to find us here. At least that's what I'm counting on.

I tried going back to sleep but that didn't work out to well for me. I tossed and turned until my alarm clock went off. When I got up I took a shower and got dressed. I checked on my mom before leaving. I saw that her blanket was hanging off of the bed so I covered her with it and I left on my walk to school. Degrassi has to be a completely new start for me. Canada has to be better for us… no wait; I already know it will be because we are away from _him_.

**Olive**

I ungratefully rode in the back of Ron Ron's car while he and Bianca discussed drugs and rap music up front. I wish I could have walked instead by my mother made me ride with Bianca. She's my sister yes, and once we were close. I fought for her when people trashed her name I vouched for her when she was out slutting around but then _it_ happened and ever since then I've hated her. Ever since then I've hated everyone, myself included on that list. When I look in the mirror all I expect to see it a big crack, dividing my face into a million fragments because I'm that atrocious.

Ron Ron parked and we walked into the school. Bianca met Drew at the front. Sure, she seems faithful now but that won't last too long. I know her and I know how she is. She will use him to get whatever it is she wants and then as soon as the next thing comes along she'll leave him and it will be a pity and a shame because he seems kind of nice.

I went to my locker and I noticed Canadian Gothic… I mean Eli looking at me from down the hall while he was at his locker. He always seems to appear when I'm at my most emotional extremes… When I'm angry, sad or annoyed he just shows up. What is he, some kind of Jiminy cricket? When I closed my locker I noticed that he was coming my way. He stopped in front of me and greeted me with a wave.

"Hi Eli."

"Hi Olive."

"What do you want?"

"To give you this."

He handed me a piece of yarn that was tied together. What the hell kind of gift is this?

"What am I supposed to do with this? Floss my teeth?"

"No… it's for string games. You can make all these different shapes and animals and stuff. It might seem lame but it comes in handy when you want to make people think you're crazy. That and little rocking motion…it will keep the pervs away."

"How do you know?"

"Because when I was in the crazy house I used to do this."

After saying that he walked off and I was left there with the string. I don't know about making shapes with it but I will wrap it around my wrist. Who knows, maybe it will bring me some sort of luck or turn me invisible….

I walked to my class and when I got there I noticed Drew's brother Adam sitting in the only empty seat. He's nice enough. It's just too bad Bianca thinks so poorly of him because he's transgendered. Even if he doesn't have a penis, he's still kind of handsome and he's a sweetheart.

"Hey Adam."

"Have I mentioned how opposite you are to your sister?"

"No… tell me again."

"You are nothing like her at all. I saw that guy say something to you yesterday in the café…Are you okay?"

"Have you ever had to constantly be in somebody's shadow with no way out?"

"Does being the other Torres count? I mean drew is an all sport athlete with all these awards and smoking how babes willing to go out with him at the drop of a hat…I have to live in that shadow so now I'm trying out for track."

"Well… my sister has been the school prostitute since middle school."

"Have you tried changing your name?"

"I wish…"

**Clare**

I wonder who that girl was Eli was talking to in the hallway today. Not that I'm jealous or anything I'm just curious. She was tall, dark and gorgeous… well not that tall but still… I'm not jealous, why would I be jealous… okay I'm jealous and I don't know why. Maybe I'm not as over Eli as I thought but I refuse to let it show. We are done, over, and finished. Nothing will change that, not even a beauty wearing brass knuckles. Curiosity got the best of me and I pumped Adam for information.

"Adam, who was the girl Eli was talking to?"

"What girl?"

"Tall, brown and gorgeous…"

"Oh, tall brown and gorgeous, why didn't you say so? Be more specific."

"She was wearing a brass knuckles ring around her neck on a chain."

"Ohhh that's Olive DeSousa."

"You don't mean…"

"Yeah, that's Bianca's little sister."

"Well is she…"

"No she's not a slut, or into drugs or making people's lives hell. She's tough but oddly very nice."

"Does Eli like her?"

"Look at your eyes turning the color of lime jello…somebody is jealous."

"Adam…"

"I don't know yet. It's too soon to tell. Right now he just seems to be interested in her because of her violent and disturbing antics. Why are you trying to rekindle something?"

"No."

"Oh…what a shame. I have to get to class. Catch you around."

I guess I can't be too angry or too jealous. Eli and I have been broken up for months and when I think about how things ended it makes me remember why they ended in the first place. I just hope he can find some happiness. Who knows, maybe with her signature DeSousa toughness she'll whip him into shape.

When I got over my spell of jealousy I started to think about Jared. He seems really nice and his southern accent is well…kinda cute. He appears to be the definition of normal but it's almost like he has a wall up around him. Whenever we talk I'm the only one bumping my gums. He's a great listener but I want to hear him say something. I know it's only the first week of school and rushing into things wouldn't help but I at least want to know a little about him.

I walked along while I was thinking of ways to get him to talk. Somebody called my name so I turned around to see him standing there. He approached me and we greeted with a tiny hug.

"Hi."

"Hi Jared."

"Where are you headed?"

"English. You?"

"History. Hey I was wondering, are you busy this weekend?"

"No. Why?"

"Maybe you could show me around and we could get a bite to eat. I've been dying to try fries with gravy though I'm not sure how that combination with fare."

"Well consider me your Toronto tour guide."

"Thanks."

He walked me to class and just as I was waving goodbye he pecked me on the cheek. I walked in and took my seat while I tried to hide the fact that I was blushing. Well at least it's good to know the feelings are mutual.

**Eli**

I feel like I'm going to die. I sat in my room looking at the four walls. All of my posters had to be reapplied to the walls with tape or putty because they didn't want me to have access to the nails. I will admit it, things got pretty bad before they had to send me off but they just don't get it…I'm better now! I have no desire to kill myself; I'll just suffer in silence. While I was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling Cece barged into my room and she gave me my pill with a cup of water.

"Cece I'm perfectly capable of taking my anti depressants on my own. You don't have to give them to me like I'm a baby or like I'm still in the crazy house."

"Eli we've had this conversation before."

"Cece come on. I get it I was fucked up and I'm still a little fucked up but I'm not suicidal or helpless anymore! You can let me take my own medicine and go out with my friends! I can walk to school and I don't need a curfew…"

"Eli… please take your medicine."

"You're ignoring me! You won't even consider what I have to say anymore!"

"Please Eli… relax. Dinner will be done in a few minutes. You should eat something with this pill."

I didn't want to but I took the pill and I swallowed it with a sip of water. Every time I try to convince them that I'm better they just totally ignore me. What do I have to do to get some freedom around this place? Try to hang myself again? When Clare broke up with me I was shattered. Not only because she broke up with me but because of everything that happened so I finished my finals in one day because they made some exceptions for me. As soon as that was done, when I got home I limped around until I found some rope. I made a noose, to the best of my ability, I tied it to the beams of the garage and I wrapped it around my neck. When I kicked the chair out from under my own feet it went flying across the room, hitting the garage door and making a bunch of noise. Where does friction go when you need it? Anyway… Bullfrog had just come home for lunch and when heard that he investigated only to find me. That was the last I remembered before blacking out. When I opened my eyes… I was in the mental hospital, tied down to the bed with a nurse hovering over me trying to stick a needle in me to get me sedated… that was the worst day ever.

I know that had to be horrible for my parents and I've apologized a million times but nothing will convince them to loosen up the leash! My mom called me down for dinner. My dad was sitting beside her at the table. I chose to sit at the foot, far from them both.

"Eli why can't you just behave?"  
>"I am behaving. I just want to be able to be a teen again."<p>

"Eli… we just want what's best for you. You are our only son."

"Yes I am but you can't keep me in a bubble. I tried to kill myself twice in one week…yes, but it's not like I'm bipolar or demented! I'm better now. When will you realize that? You don't have to be afraid to let me hang things in my room with nails or keep butter knives in the house. I'm better now. Clare and I are even friends."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"What?"

"I mean hanging with Clare Eli... I'm just trying to look out for your best interests."

"Mom everyone needs friends."

"I agree but your obsession with her…"

"Was due to the fact that I hadn't dealt with Julia's death."

"We want to wait a while to see if you've really progressed then…we will talk about easing off a little."

"Fine…whatever."

**Clare**

I got home to hear the sound of breaking glass and yelling. My mom and dad are still living here together because their apartment isn't ready yet. It's been torture, more torture than I can take. My dad continues getting drunk every night and he calls my mom hateful names, then she calls him hateful names and brings up his faults, then they come within an inch to physically fighting and I have to break it up.

Tonight was no different. I went into the kitchen to see my parents nose to nose, both of their fists balled up. What ever happened to what we were taught in church about love and turning the other cheek?

"Mom, Dad, stop it!"

"Clare get out of here this has nothing to do with you!"

"No it has everything to do with me! Why don't you two just cut it out!"

"Clare get out of here now!"

"Then stop fighting!"

"Just go!"

My dad pushed me, though I don't think he meant to. I fell and some shards of glass made contact with my hand when I hit the ground. They didn't even notice. She must be drunk too. I went to my room, crying and disturbed by the fact that my parents hate for each other is destroying their love for me and now…my love for them. I picked the glass out of my hand and I cleaned the cut, wrapping it in gauze to keep my bloody palm print from getting everywhere. When I was done doctoring on myself I got a shower and I went into my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I started crying harder than I've ever cried before. What's happened? Those people down there used to be loving and caring. They used to have nice or at least dignified things to say to each other. They used to pray through their anger but now they are lashing out and because of it I'm the one getting hurt.

I got my phone without thinking and I dialed Eli up but before the phone could complete its first ring I hung up. Old habits die hard I guess. I wish I could talk to someone about this and Eli was the one who seemed best at helping me swim through these murky waters. I still miss him… I do. I miss him but I want to move on. Eli was everything a girl could hope for…he was sweet, faithful, honest, cute and he had a car but in the end I needed to be by his side in the relationship and not put up on a pedestal or locked away in a glass box. He was just so afraid of losing me that I had to let go. It scared me knowing that my actions could break him down so easily. I had to let go.

I got dressed and I put on the clothes I'd be wearing to school the next day because I knew I'd be spending the night at my destination. I left out the door, not bothering to close it softly. The yelling and glass breaking covered the sound of it slamming. I walked to the one place I knew I could get silence and some space to think. I went to my church…open twenty four hours a day and every day of the year. I walked in and I sat in the middle of the first row. I stared at the art and the stained glass painted windows. I said a silent prayer for inner peace.

"Clare is that you?"

"Yes Father Jacobs, it's me."

"What are you doing here? Its midnight."

"I... My house is too loud."

"Your father's snoring again? I remember how that scared you as a child."

"No Father… I would gladly accept snoring."

"What happened to your hand?"

"Can I confess something even if it isn't a sin?"

**What did you think? Please leave a review… next chapter you will see one of the couples come super close to getting together. I'll leave you in the dark about which one it will actually be though.**


	4. Chapter 4

Hi so I hope you all are enjoying the story so far. Remember I'm open to any suggestions and ideas. Oh and if you read please review. Thanks!

* * *

><p><strong>Clare<strong>

"You have some explaining to do! You told Father Jacobs about us!"

"Yes I did because lately you two are out of control!"

"That's none of your business Clare!"

"It is my business because you keep up so much noise I can hear you from upstairs, there are always broken things around now and your arguments get physical. Nobody even apologized for pushing me down and making me cut my hand."

"Oh Clare don't overreact, I'm sure it was just a scratch. The point is…what goes on in this house stays in this house. Is that final?"

At that instant something exploded in me. I unleashed my anger and I raked everything that was on our fireplace mantle onto the floor and just to further vent my frustrations I kicked one of my mother's flower pots and it shattered, making the soil spill onto the oatmeal colored carpet.

"You think I don't get mad too? Huh! How is this for over reacting! You two are so stupid!"

"Clare Diane Edwards go to your room now!"

"No!"

"Young lady don't backtalk your mother."

"Oh so she's my mother now? Lately all I've heard you call her is _bitch_."

My father slapped me and I grabbed my face as I tried to process what was happening. I couldn't so I grabbed my coat and backpack and I ran out the door before they could catch me. I heard them yelling as I ran down the street. I can't go back there. At least not right now.

The clouds started to roll and the slight sounds of thunder started to echo in the sky. I didn't know where to go. The Dot would soon be closing and my friends parents probably wouldn't harbor a runaway…I knew there was only one place I could go.

I knocked on the door halfway expecting Cece or Bullfrog to answer it. Instead it was Eli. He was wearing his favorite hot pepper pajama pants. Even though he looked shocked to see me he greeted me with a smile.

"Clare what's up?"

"Could I stay here tonight?"

"Clare what's wrong?"

"Everything."

I broke down crying and he wrapped his arms around me while he invited me in. I sobbed like I'd never sobbed before. Every breath I took sounded like a shriek and there were so many waterworks that my face started to burn from the tears. Once I calmed down Eli offered me hot chocolate. I accepted his offer. While I sipped the cup of comfort he asked me what happened.

"So…what happened?"

"My parents."

"It must be pretty bad. You came here of all places."

"I ran away from home Eli."

"Why?"

"They've been fist fighting and drinking a lot lately in addition to arguing loudly and breaking things. Last night I tried to break it up and they pushed me…I fell on some broken glass and I cut my hand so I went to church and I told Father Jacobs. He confronted them and they got mad at me... long story short…my dad slapped me."

"Wow Clare. That's really fucked up. Just know that you can stay here as long as need be. You did earn a lifetime stay at the hotel Eli."

"Thanks."

I wanted to be close and at this moment, like most moments, I wanted to be close to Eli so I went for it. I kissed him but he pulled away from the kiss.

"Clare what are you doing?"

"Please Eli… I just need you tonight. This is what I want."

"You're just sad about your parents."

"I am but I want to be close to someone….I want to be close to you right now and what's closer than becoming one?"

"Clare…"

"Fine I'll just leave. I'm sure there's a park bench I can scrounge up.:"

"Wait… I just don't want you to regret it later. I mean you wouldn't want to save it for your boyfriend?"

"Eli please…."

I kissed him again and this time he didn't push me away, instead he allowed his hands to roam my body and caress the place where "the sun doesn't shine." I straddled him and I rocked back and forth on his forming hard on. He grunted slightly a few times before taking control and picking me up. He carried me to his bedroom and he tossed me on his messy, unmade bed. He turned around as he stood at his dresser. I heard the rubbery sound of latex. Right…he's putting on a condom because we are going to have sex. He walked over to the bed after pulling his pants back up and he kissed me again.

Something about his kisses was different. It was like he was a starved animal or something. It was enjoyable even still though. He yanked off my jeans and shirt, leaving me only in my underwear and he made a trail of kisses from my lips down to my breasts where he placed soft kisses on them. He managed to unhook it with one hand before he slipped it off of me. He hungrily attacked my breasts, flickering my nipples with his tongue, placing aggressive kisses and delivering little nips to them both. It felt good so I couldn't help but allow soft moans to escape my lips. It just felt so good.

He made his way back up to my lips and when our lips met our tongues did too. I've never French kissed before. Even most of our steamier kisses didn't involve tongue. It took me a while to get the rhythm but eventually I did. While I enjoyed the new kissing art I felt Eli's hand move from my side to my belly and then into my panties where he pressed my clitoris lightly and rubbed it. My moans got louder and louder as he sent me on the fast track to an orgasm. Just as I was about to cum he stopped and chuckled deviously. I felt so bottled up that I was afraid I might explode.

The kissing continued and in an attempt to finish the orgasm he'd nearly started I grinded my naked core against his erection. It did feel good, apparently to both of us because Eli shifted and pinned one of my legs so that I couldn't grind against him.

"Eli please…"

"Clare are you absolutely sure this is what you want? I mean once your virginity is gone you can't get it back. I mean sure…you could get your hymen rebuilt or you could be a born again virgin but you'll always know the truth."

"Eli I want this…please."

I saw the look of defeat in his eyes as he pulled down his pajamas. The room was dimly lit by the street light outside so I couldn't see my but I did get a peek at Eli's hugeness. A streak of nervousness shot through me and I started to have second thoughts, though I kept them to myself. He positioned himself to go in. I felt the latex covered head of his length rubbing against my clitoris and my opening several times before Eli started to go into me. It hurt but I tried not to show it for fear that Eli might stop. This had to happen.

With the first few strokes the pain got worse but with every increasing stroke after that it started to get better. I kissed Eli and in between kisses I released moans that wouldn't be held in. The pressure started to rise again like the first time, except this was…deeper. My core started to clench around him and he looked down at me with a smile as I had my first real orgasm. I moaned loudly, whimpering as I inhaled. I couldn't hold it in and I couldn't help it. For that moment I forgot about my parents and everything. I just enjoyed the body shivers and the butterflies all over me. Eli followed me into this bliss a few minutes later and for a few moments we lay there exhausted but happy. He got up to take off the condom and clean himself up while I just looked up at the glowing stars and planets scattered across Eli's ceiling. He came back to bed and he kissed me on the cheek while he held me in his arms.

"So where are Bullfrog and Cece?"

"Work… I finally convinced them that I didn't need a babysitter. They are easing off."

"That's great. Hey Eli…you know this doesn…"

The doorbell rang, cutting me off mid sentence and Eli put on some clothes to answer it. I looked out the window to see that it was the police. I knew something like this would happen. I got dressed quickly and I grabbed my things. I went downstairs. They were talking roughly to Eli.

"Son if you know something and you aren't telling us, or you are harboring her you could get in deep shit. This isn't your first brush with us."

"Well officer I guess you better get out your cu…"

"No… Officers Eli was just comforting me. I was planning to go back home."

"Clare Edwards. Be glad your parents aren't pressing charges against you for running away. Get in the cruiser please."

"Sure."

I hugged Eli and I got into the cop car. The police officer lectured me while he took me home. When I got there my parents were standing on the front porch waiting. They both looked angry. Once the police officer left my parents started fussing but I wasn't in the mood to listen to that so I went to my room and I closed and locked the door. I put on the sound cancelling headphones Eli gave me and I attempted to go to sleep.

The attempt failed, not because of my parents yelling but because of Eli. I think I did a bad thing. I have no intentions of getting back together with him I just wanted to be with him. I hope he knows that it was just a onetime thing. Of course it was a special moment for me and I will always look back on it and smile but I just… I can't be his girlfriend again. I texted him to clear things up.

"_Eli thanks for giving me a wonderful memory."_

"_No problem Clare."_

"_You know I love you right?"_

"_I love you too."_

"_We just can't get back together."_

"_Oh… =(…."_

**Eli **

How could I have been so stupid to think that she actually wanted me back! She just wanted my penis and my consoling. I feel like trash. I just… wanted so badly to believe that she still wanted me. Boys aren't supposed to cry but…ah fuck it. I'm sad. The second love of my life has just let me take her virginity but she doesn't want to be with me. This is so fucking ass backwards. I just want to throw up or break something.

The thoughts of self harm started to creep into my head so I took a sleeping pill and I went to bed before I could do any real damage to myself. When I got up the next morning I felt like I'd waken up in a bad nightmare. Clare's panties were still in my bed, tangled in my eternally messed up sheets. I then remembered what she told me so I tossed the lacy undies and I made up my bed for the first time in…ever.

I showered and I put black skinnies with a black dead hands shirt and my black leather jacket and boots. I went downstairs and Cece was there making French toast. She looked at me suspiciously.

"Baby boy did everything go okay last night?"

"Yeah Cece. Things went well."

"Well great. Um your medicine is on the counter with some juice and your breakfast. Are you sure you're okay? You look a little down."

"I'm fine… just a nightmare."

"Okay."

I took my medicine and I ate before telling her goodbye and leaving for school. Funny, I'm taking anti depressants but I still feel depressed. The walk did help me a little though. The chilly wind blowing through my hair made me remember that I was still at least alive.

When I made it to school Clare was sitting at the front with Alli. They were apparently talking about Bhandari's issues. Clare looked up at me with fear in her eyes. I waved and she waved back with a smile. What the hell is there to smile about? Even though I wasn't in the mood to use my vocal cords I did want to talk and Adam just appeared out of nowhere.

"Dude, drew's hot wing fest last night was epic! I'm still pooping buffalo sauce."

"Too much info."

"What's with you?"

"Clare…"

"Aw man I thought we were past this."

"We had sex last night Adam."

"What!"

"Don't tell anyone or her I told you about this."

"You have my word. So are you together again?"

"No. She just used me."

"That sucks. Are you okay?"

"Would you be okay?"

"Point taken. I have to get to class early but dude text me."

"Okay."

I went to the restroom and I stood in the stall trying to get myself together. The bell rang and when I came out the halls were clear of everyone except one girl… Olive. She was fiddling with the string I gave her but she was doing it all wrong.

"You're just going to tangle it doing that."'

"Well you did just give this to me without any instructions… What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Usually you seem in a better mood. A bit sneaky perhaps but still happier."

"Just having a bad day."

"Oh. Well sorry."

"For what?"

"That you are having a bad day."

"Oh…thanks I guess."

"So is it true that you killed someone."

"No. Where'd you hear that?"

"Around… people say you used to drive a hearse too."  
>"That is true. His name was Morty but I wrecked him so I'm using my savings to get him fixed. Luckily it was only cosmetic damages."<p>

"Oh. So why were you in the crazy house?"

"Why do you hate your sister?"

"I get it…a personal question for a personal question. Sorry I asked."

"Eh, it's okay. Your little rumor mill is amusing and kind of funny. Ha ha ha ha ha."

"You don't sound unhinged at all."

"Come on… It's not like you are actually in class anyway."

"Where are we going?"

"Are you coming or not?"

"…."

"Let's go to the mall… Food, a movie and all that jazz."

"Okay."

' We snuck out of Degrassi and we caught the bus to the mall. Once we got there I ate my emotions. I must have tasted something from all the snack vendors and I ate in the actual restaurant at the mall.

"You can sure put it away Eli."

"I'm emotional eating."

"Girl problems?"

"Bingo."

"Is it Clare?"

"You know Clare?"

"I know that she's your ex."

"Oh… well yes. It's Clare."

"Oh… well it will be okay. Hey maybe you should punch something…not me though."

"Olive don't be crazy, of course not you and hitting things isn't really my cup of tea therapy wise."

"Well if you keep eating like that those skinny jeans won't fit you for long."

"Thanks for your advice."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Yes. I am…"

"Well then vent. I'm a good listener."

"Alright…where should I start?"

"The beginning."

"I was in the crazy house because… you know how everybody thinks I killed someone?"

"Yes."

"Well…my ex girlfriend Julia is the reason. One night we had a fight. It was raining so hard that it looked like there was milk coming from the sky. We were having a really bad fight and she got out and rode off in the night on her bike. I sat there for a few minutes to try and calm down but it didn't work so when I took off I was going way too fast. Her bikes reflector was broken; it had been since she bought it because it was on clearance so I didn't see her when she was crossing the street. I hit her and I stopped. I got out, hoping that it was a deer but when I got out I saw it was her. I held her hand and I tried to keep her alive. We managed to forgive each other and she lived long enough to tell the medics what happened but she died on the way to the hospital… I never delt with her death. I started hoarding but I also met Clare when I came to Degrassi and things seemed halfway okay again until I almost got stabbed and my hoarding reached its peak. Clare helped me deal with the hoarding but she couldn't help me deal with Julia's death. I smothered Clare with attention and one night when we were supposed to go on a trip she didn't show, I called her and she broke up with me. It was crazy because I thought the only reason was because she didn't like the car so I wrecked it only to find that it wouldn't have made a difference. A week later I tried to hang myself and I woke up in the looney bin."

"I feel like I've just watched a movie."

"Why?"

"That was…Well…Wow."

"Still think I'm an okay guy?"

"Sure, your past is checkered but whose isn't? We all have skeletons Eli. So do you and Clare still talk?"

"A little."

"Oh. So that's why you're down in the dumps?"

"Just uh…forget it."

"Come on… I thought you were venting?"

"I feel better. Now you…why do you hate your sister?"

"If it's all the same to you I'd rather not talk about that right now."

"Fine."

We walked the mall and hung out until students from Degrassi started to flood in. We'd stayed the entire day. Oh well, a little break never hurt anyone…much.

**I know that chapter was long but Eli had a lot to . Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Guys thanks for letting me know I wasn't writing for Casper or the Boo Brothers! This chapter is a little long so bear with . I tried to get everyone's perspective. Please review and most of all ENJOY!**_

**I do not own the song "Poor Thing" by Paige Michalchuk and the Sex Kittens….**

**Olive**

"So are you going to the big game and then the dance afterwards?"

"I don't know. I don't know much about football and if I went to the dance I'd have to wear a dress."

"Aw come on Olive. It will be fun. Strobe lights, pumping music…watered down punch. Eli will be there."

"Adam you're acting like Eli is some sort of incentive for me to show up. It's not like I'm dating the guy."

"You like him."

"It's only the first few weeks of school."

"So. You like him."

"He's still getting over Clare."

"You like him."

"Adam which team are you playing for?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I thought you were getting Clare and Eli back together. Won't I be stunting your plan?"

"Well…that's easier said than done so I'm giving up. Now, even if they are broken up I just want them to be happy."

"Adam…"

"Well I already bought your ticket to the dance."

"Adam."

"Well a bit of good news… me and a friend of mine..."

"Which friend?"

"You don't know her…anyway we are going shopping afterschool."

"Good for you."

"You are coming too."  
>"Why?"<p>

"So you can shop for the dance."

"I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not good at dances and stuff like that."

"You're not good at fun?"

"No I'm not."

In the middle of my argument with Adam, Eli walked up. Things got really awkward because we'd just been talking about him. I guess it was a "speak of the devil" moment.

"Olive you are going to the dance to have fun with us and that's final… I have to go. Dude, dudette, catch you later."

Adam walked away and it was just us. I didn't really mind. Eli's cool I just hope Adam doesn't start making awkward little remarks to make things weird between us.

"Dances uh…not your thing?"

"No not really. You don't seem like the dancing type either."

"Well I've been known to cut a rug every now and then. Considering the fact that traumatic events have happened at the last two dances though, my only goal for this one is to have fun."

"Well I hope you do."

"Seriously… you are going to miss the "welcome back" dance?"

"Well…"

"Adam did tell me he bought you a ticket. Ten bucks…"

"Are you trying to guilt me into going?"

"Yes. Kinda of."

"How would we get there anyway? No offense to Mrs. Torres but I hate riding with her."

"My car is out of the shop. All fixed. I mean…I'm broke now basically but it was worth it."

"The hearse?"

"Yes… the hearse."

"Well… Okay. But if this goes terribly wrong and I get splattered with pig's blood… you are the first one I'm using my telekinetic powers on."

"Be my guest."

I went to Ms. Dawes art class. The assignment was to draw the first thing that comes to your mind. The first thing that came to my mind was a bathtub… Not just any bathtub though it was the bathtub that harbors my worst memory. It's in an old shabby house. It's dirty and rusty and it's where_ it_ happened. You might still wonder what it is well… _when "it" happens to other people, you say poor thing, you say how sad but when "it's" you "it's" something else, "it's" everything. _

Drawing the picture took me back to that night at the party. Bianca was the only person I knew. We rode with this guy she knew named _Vinny_. Once we were there things were great until I left for a second to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was gone and when I called her she sent me straight to voicemail. I went into the bathroom to chew her out for leaving me and I didn't know I had company. It was Vinny. I asked him if he could take me home but he was adamant on staying for the hook up session of the party. I told him I wasn't into that like Bianca was and he got angry. He locked the bathroom door. I tried to get past him. He slung me into the tub. I busted my elbow and the railing came down and made a cut on my forehead. I fought to get out once again. I made him bleed and I know I bruised him but that didn't stop him. He slung me into the tub again and he took what he wanted. The entire time when I asked why, he said that he was making me do what my sister decided not to. When he was done he just left me in that bathtub and he drove off. I walked home in the cold wearing a skirt and strappy sandals. There was snow on the ground and my hips and core ached. When I finally made it home I scrubbed my entire body with a brillo pad and six bars of Irish Springs soap. Nothing could make me feel clean.

When I finally stopped crying I got angry. I got angry at Vinny and Bianca. If she'd been there he wouldn't have had the chance to hurt me that way. If she hadn't left with some guy or if she had taken me with her he wouldn't have had the chance to do that. She knew I didn't know him that well. He was her friend. She shouldn't have left me there for some hook up!

Ever since that night I've been mad at Bianca but I doubt she knows it. Every time I think about what happened I always wonder if she enjoyed her sleazy five minute hook up? I hope she did because it cost me a hell of a lot. I just wish there was some way to get past all of this. Everybody thinks I'm angry and I can be but I don't want to be I just can't help it.

I spaced out while I was drawing. Ms. Dawes tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped. She smiled at me subtly before moving on down the aisle. I looked down and realized that the led to my pencil was broken. I clicked the eraser and more led came down. Mechanical pencils are indeed the best. Before I knew it the bell was ringing. I turned in my drawing and Ms. Dawes analyzed it like she does everything else.

"Olive, a bathtub is the first thing that came to your mind?"

"Yeah…"

"I… If you ever need somebody to talk to I'm here for you."

"Thanks Ms. Dawes but I'm fine…really."

She looked at me suspiciously before taking my drawing. I left class only to run smack into Adam. Oh gosh, its lunch time. That means he has a full hour to coax and torture me into going to this thing tonight.

"Before you start…"

"Before I start what? I have no reason to badger you now… Eli told me you agreed to go."

"Are you satisfied now?"

"Yes."

So I'm going to the dance. It's the first event like this I've been to since well…you know. I just hope everything ends up okay. Maybe a little fun would do me some good. I can only hope for the best and try to be happy.

**Clare**

Eli's probably asking Olive to the dance. Not that I was going to ask him or anything. I think I've done enough damage to him and he doesn't need any more. I caught Jared in the hall before lunch and I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and he smiled when he saw me.

"Clare I was about to come looking for you."

"Were you really?"

"Yes. There's a dance tonight."

"I'm aware."

"I was wondering if you had a date?"

"Nope."

"Want to go with me? I may have picked up an extra ticket in hopes that you'd say yes."

"Then I can't say no."

"Great."

I ruffled Jared's red hair playfully and in return he tried to ruffle mine. In the process our lips nearly met. He kissed my cheek swiftly before getting revenge on me. I accepted the defeat and we walked into the lunchroom. I looked around and saw Alli sitting at our usual table. I sat beside her.

"What's up Alli?"

"Nothing… Just wishing I had a date to the dance tonight."

"You have me."

"Yeah but you'll probably be with Jared here…assuming he's asked you."

"He has."

"Well then I'll be alone. Great. Even Dave has a date! What is this world coming to?"

"Well Alli, date or no date you are going to have fun."

"I hope you are right."

After I convinced Alli of the great time we were going to have we started talking about dresses. Jared excused himself to go and chat with his team and Adam came to the table. Adam probably has his outfit picked out. He never misses a chance to be suave and debonair.

"Hola ladies."

"Hi Adam."

"Sup Adam."

"Are we ready for the dance tonight?"

"Definitely. I have the QB2 as a date."

"I have nobody as a date! Even Saint Clare has a date!"

"Hey hey! Those words stung!"

"Sorry Clare I'm just… sorry."

"Alli if it makes you feel better I'm dateless too."

"Well at least I won't be the only extra wheel tonight."

"Adam if I ask you something will you be honest with me?"

"Sure… No your ex boyfriend who you hit and quit is not going to the dance with Bianca's sister… At least not officially though he did persuade her to come and I think she's riding with him."

"What?"

"Oh Morty's fixed."

"That's great… I just hope he manages not to get himself nearly stabbed tonight."

"Yeah you and me both. Clare you aren't jealous are you?"

"Still a little."

"Well you had your chance…"

"I know! I know! Just don't remind me."

"Clare I still can't believe you had sex."

"There was a lot going on Alli."

"I can see that…"

"Well ladies. I have to make my rounds. I am up to be student body president and I can't do that being anti social."

"Bye Adam."

**Eli**

"Adam we aren't dating."

"But you like her."

"I… she's okay. It's the first few weeks of school."

"Whatever dude. You like Olive just admit it."

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

"No reason. I'm just ready to see you happy again buddy."

"Well I'm pretty damn happy now even without Clare. I have my oldest pal Morty, my parents are treating me like I'm normal again…with the exception of putting the knives back in the house and I'm going to a dance with a pretty girl and my best bud. Olive is hot, and I do like talking to her but I'm in no rush. If we date then we do but if not then I'll be content having her as a friend."

"What did they do to you in that place?"

"Nothing… this is my decision. Though I do wonder…"

"Wonder what?"

"What it'd be like to kiss her."

"And the adventure begins again."

"Adam shut up! We are here… Should I just honk the horn or what?"

"No! She's a lady not a dog. Go to the door and pick her up properly."

I got out and I went to the door. A lady who looked like both Bianca and Olive came to the door. This has to be Ms. DeSousa.

"Hello my name is Eli and I'm here for Olive."

"Oh well hi Eli. Olive! Get down here! You have people waiting on you!"

"Coming Ma!"

She came down the stairs wearing a little black dress. It stopped just above her knee and it was a little form fitting but not tight. It had one strap and a flowery bow. She looked beautiful. Once she got down the stairs she greeted me bashfully and Ms. DeSousa made us take pictures. She didn't lay down any ground rules but I'm not going to get her into any trouble anyway.

"Hey you two are matching."

"Adam we are wearing black. It's a universal color."

"I know but you are both wearing it on the way to a dance… Olive you look nice by the way…"

"Thanks Adam… Fiona was good at helping me pick out a dress and comfortable heels."

"Told you so."

We got to the dance and we handed our tickets to the chaperones. Once in the gym I checked my blazer and I started enjoying the fun. Now this is how a dance is supposed to be… No knives and no car wrecks. Staying out of harm's way might not be as hard as I've been making it out to be.

"See you are good at dances and having fun."

"I guess it was a hidden talent."

"Dance with me?"

"Sure."

I grabbed her hand and I gently pulled her close to me until she was near enough for me to wrap my arms around her. She rested her arms on my shoulders and she laid her head against my chest. Her hair smells like coconuts.

"I'm glad I came to this dance…"

"I'm glad you are glad. Is Adam looking over here?"

"No."

"Good. I don't want him being all weird."

"Me either. Gosh lately he's like an old matchmaker."

"Tell me about it."

While I was dancing with Olive I happened to look up and see Clare dancing with Jared. For an instance her eyes opened and we looked at each other from across the dance floor. She looked at me apologetically. This moment is nice with Olive but every time I look at Clare I feel the truth swell up in my head and my heart. I know it's her I really want to be dancing with because I still love her. Even though I know it's definitely over… I still love Clare and if I had one wish it would be that I could be taking that Southern ginger's place with her on the dance floor.

**Jared**

Tonight has been momentous. We won the game and this dance has been great. Right now nothing can beat holding Clare. She smells like vanilla. I like it. I like everything about her. I like the way her blue eyes sparkle every time she smiles and I love that she's sweet. She seems really authentic and honest. I haven't known her that long but from what I've seen it's true of her. The song ended and I released her from my arms. She was dabbing her eyes.

"Clare what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm fine really…this stupid cheap mascara dropped in my eyes."

"Oh. Well if it makes any difference… I think you look just fine without all that stuff."

"Thanks Jared."

I know that's not what happened. When we got outside I saw the real source of her tears. Her ex was wrapping his coat around some girl. I guess that would hurt seeing that. I would offer to kick his ass but he really hasn't done anything wrong that I know of. Hopefully I can make Clare forget all about him. He doesn't seem like he would have been appreciative of her anyway. She needs me.

**=) What did you think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Barney or his opening credits theme song…. (yes I said Barney )**

**Jared**

There's nothing better to be doing on Thursday than making out when you are supposed to be doing homework. With each meeting of our lips Clare's taste sweeter and sweeter. With every increasing stroke of my hand her skin gets softer.

"Jared."

"Yes Clare?"

"You know that…I'm waiting right?"

"Waiting for what?"

"Until marriage."

"Oh. I didn't know that but I wasn't going to try an…"

"I know. I know you wouldn't try that so early I just wanted you to know."

No wonder they call her Saint Clare. She's the founder of the babysitting program at school, one of the organizers of the prayer group, she attends bible study, Sunday school and church and now…she's waiting until marriage. Saint Clare seems like a good nickname for her.

**Clare**

Lord forgive me I have just sinned for lying about sinning! I shouldn't have told Jared I was a virgin. I shouldn't have told him I was still waiting either. I'm just setting myself up to be made out as a liar for some reason. I just… I thought he might try to take it further than kissing and I just wasn't into it.

I started to think about that night with me and Eli… I started to think about all of the nights Eli and I have had and that's what I need right now. I need him to hold me and kiss me and make love to me in the newly fixed Morty so I decided to go to his place when I left Jared's. I walked there and I saw that his parents were home. I'm sure they hate me after all that's happened. I decided to just go in through the window so I climbed the tree and I opened the window. I'm surprised it wasn't locked. Eli wasn't in his room so I sat on the bed. I heard footsteps so I hid under the bed. I couldn't tell if it was Eli or not so I decided to stay under. However my plan was destroyed when someone grabbed my hair and coaxed me out of my hiding spot. I looked to see that it was Eli.

"Why are you here Edwards? You could have gotten yourself killed. I thought you were a burglar and you know I have no mercy or tolerance for those."

"I'm sorry I just… wanted to see you."

"That's what you said a month ago when you came by and used me for sex. I'm starting to think you are making a habit out of hurting me."

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that in your selfish attempt to get what you want I got hurt. I gave you space and I stopped talking to you… I gave you what you asked for and now you don't even want it!"

"Eli! Who are you talking to in there?"

"Nobody Cece just fussing at the TV."

"Okay honey."

"… Eli I just… I do still love you."

"Yeah? Well you couldn't prove that by me."

"I do I just… Please?"

"Well…"

"This will be the last time okay?"

Tears filled both me and Eli's eyes but that didn't stop the kissing from starting. I kissed him like I'd never see him again or like I was seeing him for the first time in a long time. I tried my best to get enough of him to last me a lifetime but that wasn't possible. When we finally pulled away for air I slipped the tank top over his head and I flinged it across the room. Feeling his warm flesh under my fingertips made the moment more real. This is about to happen again.

I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him! That's all I could repeat in my head while he undressed me, kissing every newly exposed part of my body. When his lips finally made their way back to mine it was like kissing him for the first time all over again. That fire and passion starting at the pit of my stomach spread out and consumed me in lust and a blissful anxiety. I pulled down his pants and boxers exposing his swollen member. He handed me the condom and I slipped it onto him.

"Well now that my rubber is on I can play in the rain."

"Eli that was so corny."

I'll miss his corny jokes and his hilarious overreactions. I have missed them these past few months. Being with him again might seem like the obvious choice but it's not all roses and candy. Nobody makes me happier than Eli but nobody scares me more than him either. It's going to hurt…cutting myself off from him for good but I have to because my lingering is just hurting us both.

He picked me up and pushed into me. I whimpered out and he kissed my cheek. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he held me against the wall for support. His fingers dug into my thighs as he picked up pace. Suddenly he carried me over to the bed. His weight felt nice on me. While he resteadied the pace I joined him by grinding my hips against him while stirred his erection inside me. Our movements unified and became swifter the closer we got to orgasm. When we finally reached it I couldn't stop the vocalization of my moans. Eli dug into my thigh as he came and when he was spent he collapsed on my chest while he kissed my breasts and chest. I love him, I love him, I love him but… I have to leave him.

Once I got the energy I got dressed and then Eli and I sat on opposite sides of his bed with our backs to each other. As I slipped on my last sock and shoe I got sad. This is the end of this. The end of us for good. I couldn't look at Eli in the face as I said goodbye. Instead I told him goodbye with my back turned while I was climbing out the window and onto the tree that bought me up here. Once I was down the trunk of the tree and on the sidewalk I looked back at Eli. He was just looking at me in the window with that blank, heartbroken look on his face. He makes that face whenever he talks about Julia. I guess I'm dead to him too now.

I sobbed all the way home. My eyes burned from crying so much and my throat was raw from the crying. My parents weren't there when I got there. They've decided not to move, they are just going to share the house so they've concocted a way to not fight… stay gone all the time. I went up to my room and I lay on my bed still crying. It shouldn't hurt this much. Something isn't right.

**Olive**

"Adam he's not over Clare! Why are you trying to push me onto him!"

"I'm not I just think you two would benefit each other."

"Well he doesn't like me that way. I can tell and I'm not setting myself up for rejection."

"He won't reject you!"

"He will Adam."

"So you are just going to like him, not say anything and suffer in silence?"

"Yes."

"I can see I have to take it back to middle school."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to tell him for you."

"Adam don't okay! I'm not ready."

"Finally the truth comes out. Since you admitted it… I guess I can keep my lips sealed a little while longer now if you don't mind….student body president has to get some shut eye."

"Night Adam."

You heard right… Ever since the dance last month Eli and I have been hanging out a lot and I kind of like him. I feel so stupid for letting myself like him. I personally think it's his pheromones making me have all these feelings for him but I can't prove it for sure. Either way I know my crush is pointless. He doesn't like me that way and he probably never will. I'm eternally in the friend zone. Whenever I think about him though I feel like I'm going to throw up and whenever I'm around him I sweat like a pig. I hate feeling this way because I know it's useless. He's still in love with Clare and I know for a fact that a guy can't truly be in love with two women at once…

After I made myself focus on my drawing assignment for Ms. Dawes Bianca busted in ruining my concentration. She plopped on my bed and she sat there. I could tell she was looking at me because I felt her eyes on me.

"What?"

"You know today when you were in the shed getting the recycling bins for the garbage men a few hours ago?"

"Yes."

"I read your diary."

"You did?"

"I didn't know that… I didn't know Olive."

"…."

"Would you please stop drawing on that damn paper and turn around and talk to me?"

I turned around to look at her and she was crying just like me. I didn't want to cry but I did.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was mad at you for leaving me there."

"I didn't know he would do that Olive I swear. He seemed nice and he said he'd get you home safe. I never imagined… I'm so sorry. All this time you've been carrying this secret all on your own! I just thought you were going through some phase the reason why you hated me… I never thought… I'm so sorry Olive."

"I'm sorry too Bianca."

Just like that I was able to sincerely hug my sister for the first time in a year and a half. I don't even know if I was mad at directly here this entire time. I think I just wanted someone to blame in addition to the person who done the damage. I think I just wanted an apology. I know I will never get an apology from Vinny. Monsters don't apologize for terrorizing people.

I opened my floodgates and I continued crying. I couldn't stop myself. Bianca patted my back like I was a baby and she started to sing the opening credits from Barney. It used to be our favorite show when we were kids.

"_Barney comes to play with us whenever we may need him."_

"_Barney can be your friend too if you just make believe him."_

"Olive… you have to talk to somebody about this. The school counselor or somebody."

"I'm fine."

"You are not fine. You need to get some help for this. I know you don't want anybody to know but Ms. Suave can help you. Promise you'll at least talk to her once."

"Fine."

Just like that I felt a little lighter but I was still weighted down. Maybe Bianca is right… I probably should talk to somebody about what happened but I don't want anyone to know. It's just so… I just don't want anyone to know I was raped.

When I was done drawing for my homework assignment I finished up the few easy math problems I had for coach Armstrong's class and I wrote in my blog for Ms. O's class. After that I was done for the night so I showered, changed into my pajamas and I lie down in the bed, found a massage video on my computer and relaxed. The relaxing stopped though when my cell phone rang from an unknown number. I hate these.

"Hello?"

"Olive…"

"E…Eli? What number are you calling from?"

"My house phone… my cell is dead."

"Oh, okay. What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk. Adam told me."

"Adam told you what?"

"That you are madly in love with me."

"Adam lied. I only think I have a crush on you."

"Then why didn't you tell me? Why tell Adam anyway? You know he can't hold water in a cup."

"Because I didn't want to be rejected."

"Who said you'd be rejected?"

"Eli please you are still not over Clare that's why I think you'd reject me. You'd do it nicely and let me down easy but you'd still reject me."

"I'm not going to reject you Olive! Gosh you are so paranoid… You're right. I wasn't over Clare but now I am. Wanna go out Friday?"

"You mean today?"

"Oh it is one in the morning isn't it? Well yes…today."

"Am I just your rebound?"  
>"I don't know the meaning of the word."<p>

"Then… okay I'll go out with you tomorrow night but no funny business."

"None planned. I'll pick you up at seven. Olive Garden."

"Grrrr! There you go again with that joke!"

"Olive…ya honey."

"Goodbye Goldsworthy."

**Eli**

Tonight with Clare was amazing. It's like we were meant to be together. I can see that but she can't so I'm done begging. I'm going to attempt to move on. Olive likes me and she's cool so why not go out with her? Tomorrow night I'm going to attempt to keep my mind off of Clare and totally occupied on Olive. Maybe I might even find out some of her secrets. I decided to call Adam back and thank him for the hot tip.

"Casanova this better be good! My sudden case of insomnia just broke. I was asleep."

"Well wake up. She said yes to the date."

"You were expecting her to say no?"

"I didn't know what to expect."

"Well I'm glad she's got her man…almost. Just try to actually focus on Olive. No talk about Clare."

"After tonight I am Clare free."

"After tonight… what happened tonight?"

"_It _happened again tonight Adam. But that's the last night that's going to happen between us."

"Well now I'm really awake. This is one fucked up love rectangle."

"Rectangle?"

"Yes… If it were a square that would mean Jared and Olive would be fooling around but they aren't. The only way they are connected is through you and Clare."

"Well…consider your love rectangle crushed. Clare and I are over officially. Not sudden hook ups, no googley eyes, nothing…."

"A new beginning."

"Exactly. Now go to bed Mr. President."

"You too dude."

I hung up the phone with Adam and I realized that I'd just lied to my best friend and myself. If Clare were to come back and ask me to help her rob a bank I probably would because I'm that in love with her. I feel helpless and like I'm drowning. Why did she have to come here tonight and make everything so final? I hated being used because it made me feel cheap and confused but it also provided me with a false sense of hope and I needed that…or at least I wanted that. I wanted to believe that it wasn't over but now… now I know it is and it's killing me. I called Adam back.

"Dude seriously!"

"I think I should cancel the date with Olive."

"Why?"

"I don't think it's fair to her. I'm a fucking mess and I won't be any better by tomorrow night."

"Do what you want just let me get my rest crazy pants!"

"Sorry dude."

I didn't want to text the news so I decided to call her. She answered but she sounded groggy and halfway asleep.

"Eli? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just… I can't go on that date tomorrow night."

"Okay so when?"

"I don't know."

"Oh…o..okay. Well goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Now I feel like an assburger with cheese, pickles, bacon and secret sauce….

**Thanks for reading please leave a review telling me what you thought or telling me any suggestions or asking any questions you may have. =)**


	7. Chapter 7

So what do you guys think of the story so far? Any suggestions or questions?


	8. Chapter 8

**Eli**

It's been a week since it all ended and though I'm still mixed up about it, I'm not longer an emotional wreck. I guess I'm trying to get over it once and for all and hopefully this time there will be nothing to stunt my recovery.

I walked out of class and into the hallway where Olive was at her locker. We haven't really talked since I cancelled our date. Mostly it's "hello" or "goodbye" but no real conversations. Mostly I think she's been avoiding me. I started her way and as if on cue she shut her locker and briskly walked off in the other direction. Now I know she's avoiding me and I don't blame her.

"You hurt her feelings."

"Adam where in the…where did you come from?"

"Simpson's office. I was in there demanding refills for the vending machine."

"Great. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. She told you this?"

"No you have to read between the lines with Olive when it comes to emotions. She's an onion…just chocked full of layers you have to peel back to get to what's real."

"So what should I do?"

"You're asking me? Eli is asking me for advice?"

"You're going to give it to me whether I want it or not."

"If you can catch her then talk to her."

Just then Clare walked by with that Jared kid. Gosh he's such a dirty ginger and he's a football player and… I guess I'm jealous. At least she seems happy with him though. I walked in the direction Olive went in and to my surprise I found her picking up loose leaf paper up off the floor. I picked up a piece she'd missed and I handed it to her. She looked up at me and exhaled sharply. I could tell she didn't want to say thanks but she forced the words out.

"Thanks."

"So you can say more than hello and goodbye."

"Eli is there anything in particular you wanted?"

"We need to talk."

"Do we have to? I'm…"

"You're what?"

"I'm late for my meeting with Ms. Suave."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah just dealing with some stuff…getting it out of the way."

"Well I'll walk you. You do know you are going the wrong way right?"

"I was taking the long way."

"Well we can talk on the way."

"Do we really have to?"

"Yes… I need to apologize to you. I shouldn't have asked you out."

"….Dammit Adam."

"What I mean is… I shouldn't have gotten irrational and asked you out. I wasn't ready and I was really just doing it on a whim. I'm sorry. Could you ever forgive me?"

"Sure…All forgiven."

She looked a little sad still as we walked. Dammit Adam. I wish I didn't know she liked me. If I didn't know that then I wouldn't feel like such a jerk off. I decided to ask her out again but this time I won't cancel on her.

"So now that the air is all clear…want to go out?"

"Are you sure this time?"

"Positive."

She looked unsure and she went a few minutes without answering so I stepped in front of her blocking her way. She rolled her before looking at me.

"Eli move."

"No, not until you give me a firm answer. Holding grudges is bad for your health you know. It causes ulcers and ulcers make you vomit blood."

"Fine I'll…go out with you."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to but I don't want to be the rebound."

"You won't be and….you'll have the best time in history. I'm tons of fun."

"I bet you are…so when would the date be?"

"Tonight. It's Friday."

"Seven?"

"Let's make it six Olive Garden."

"That joke still isn't funny."

She went into Ms. Suave's office and I went to study hall. The beauty of being a senior is that they don't ask a million questions when you come in late.

**Jared**

I got home after school expecting the house to be empty but it wasn't. My father was sitting in the living room and my mother was on the couch beside him. They both looked happy. She was smiling and he had a smug look on his face.

"Son….aren't you gonna hug your daddy?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Boy is that any kinda way to greet your daddy? Seems like you got up here with all these city folks and forgot your damned manners. Maybe I outta teach you a lesson boy!"

"Senior please stop! Just let the boy go. Please."

He started laughing and he plopped back down onto the couch. What the fuck is going on here? I went into my room and my mother came in a few minutes later.

"Jared we need to talk."

"What's he doing here mom?"

"He's changed."

"He's changed? He's changed! How many times has he told you that back home mom? We come here to start a new life and you let him into it."

"Actually…he missed us Jared and you need a man around. I invited your father."

"I cannot believe this!"

"Watch your volume mister! I'm still your mother and…your father is still the head of this household."

This is like some kind of messed up dream. No not a dream… a nightmare with sleep paralysis! I feel like I could throw up. Things were going great for me finally and now he showed up and turned it all sour! I'm not going to live in fear anymore that's for sure. Before I let him hurt me again and go back to being beaten daily I will leave or I will kill him and that's the truth.

While I sat in my room thinking and trying to calm down he came in and sat on my bed nearly missing it. He's drunk and he smells like it too. He looked over at me but I refused to acknowledge his glare.

"You know I never liked you…When your mama found out she was having you I wanted her to get rid of you but she begged to keep you. Now here you are just a snot nose little son of a bitch."

"You don't talk to me like that!"

"Oh boy…he's got some base in his voice now. What are you sticking you dick in some Canadian kitty? Got you feeling like a man right?"

"That's none of your buisness."

"Alright little faggot…just calm down."

"No you are the only faggot I see!"

"Ha ha ha …alright boy alright. I'll play along for now. I came to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Don't you go messing up your mama's happiness. You know she's glad to have us all back together like a family…the way it should be. Don't you go fucking up her joy."

He walked out again. I don't know what's going to go down but I don't think it will be good. He hasn't changed and he never will. In two days or less he'll be hitting her again. I love my mother but I won't be able to help her this time. I'll have to help myself first and I'll help myself by killing him if he ever hits me or tries to…. I'll kill him!

I sat in the room and little while longer before Drew called to tell me he was downstairs. I grabbed my football gear and I went down to the car. I'm pissed…I just hope this doesn't distract me from this game tonight. Word is that this Lakehurst school is Degrassi's rival. Definitely don't wanna lose against them.

**Clare**

We won the game! I've never been much of a cheerleader but I was happy to be beating our rivals. Alli and I cheered in the stands while our tired looking team went to the locker room. Jared and I are supposed to hang out so Alli waited around with me until he came out. He didn't look happy to see me. In fact he looked pissed.

My first thought was the worst thought. Maybe somehow he found out that I've had sex with Eli. I would just hate myself if he found out. He's so sweet and he seems really vulnerable. He's just like me before Eli and… I don't want to hurt him because I know what it feels like. That's why I ended it… It's better for everybody.

"Jared…What's the matter?"

"Clare is there any place we can go and be alone? I need to talk to you."

"Sure…"

"Well you two I'll just be going. If I hurry I can still catch a ride with Jenna, KC and the runt. Bye!"

"Bye Alli."

I put my arms around Jared to hug him and he scooped me up and made my feet leave the ground. It's like I was a teddy bear and he was a big child. I giggled from the weightless feeling and then he released me. He looked down at me with those piercing blue eyes. It's like he could see right through me to my soul.

"Wanna sit on the bleachers?"

"Sure… I've been going here two years and I've never done that."

"Well you're doing it now."

"So what's up?"

"Clare I really like you."

"I like you too Jared."

"I know about… you and your ex.… waiting huh?"

I couldn't say anything instead I just looked away and bowed my head in shame. My hair covered my face. I didn't want to be seen! I'm just… so embarrassed. I feel like the world's biggest slut.

"That's not why I'm upset Clare. I knew you still had some feelings for him and as far as that goes it's all water under the bridge."

"Really?"

"Yes…Just don't let it happen again. Now for the good news…"

"I'm listening."

"I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Even after everything?"

"Yes Clare… I still want you as my girl. It doesn't change anything."

"Thanks Jared."

"Also… I might need to stay with you some nights."

"Okay. Can I ask why?"

"My dad…he's here."

"Okay…"

"My mom and I came here to get away from him. He's… a bad man."

"He found you? You could tell the police or…"

"No. My mom wants him there."

"Oh."

Jared's life sounds complicated but I won't pry into it. For the time being I just wanted to hug him so I did. I looped my arm around his and I laid my head on his arm. We looked at the stars and talked about alien life.

**Olive**

"Admit it EVOO… you are having the time of your young life."

"Seriously Eli…these jokes are corny."

"I know but they annoy you."

"What are you…seven?"

"Seventeen actually…some things just don't change with time."

"Where to now hearse man?"

"You pick."

"….The park!"

"The park?"

"Yeah. I bet all the swings, monkey bars and the merry go round is free… It's a perfect time to go play!"

He looked at me like I was crazy but he complied with my wishes. We hopped into Morty and he headed for the park. This date is going well and it's not as awkward as I thought it would be after he cancelled on me the first time. I knew it would happen but I still found myself feeling a little…saddened by the fact that I was right. I guess all that matters is that I'm on the date with Eli now and it has been fun. We keep having these moments where we almost kiss and think yes…finally…I'll get my first kiss now. Then he turns away. I'm just starting to wonder if he even likes me like that. Maybe we will only ever be friends…

I stopped myself from thinking those thoughts and I just looked at the stars until we made it to the park. When we did I got out the car and I ran for the swings. My plan was to jump on one, belly first, and pretend I was an airplane like I did when I was a kid but my plan failed! I jumped right over the swing's seat and I went face first into the wood chips. I felt the autumn wind on my ass while my dress covered my head. At least my panties are cute.

I got up completely mortified and I couldn't stop laughing. Eli was standing there laughing. He walked over to me slowly and he asked if I was okay between chuckles. Besides some scrapes I am okay.

"It looks like there's a full moon tonight Olive… What were you doing anyway?"

"I was going to jump onto the swings belly first."

"Well how about we just sit on them."

"I could settle for regular swinging."

After swinging for a few minutes and continuing our argument about pizza toppings, Eli abruptly grabbed my hand. It felt like I was going to puke but not in a bad way. I thought I was having a heart attack or something.

"Clammy palms."

"Yeah I'll just…. Wipe these off."

"I make you nervous…."

"Well don't flatter yourself it's just something that happens."

"Well how do you feel about me?"

"Whenever I'm around you I just want to vomit all over the place."

"Okay… Is that good or bad?"

"Not in a bad way. I just get all nervous and anxious."

"Butterflies?"

"Yeah…no…the thought of insects inside me disturbs me so I prefer to just call it what it is. How do you feel about me?"

He got quiet but his thumb started to rub the skin on the back of my hand. I wonder what he's going to say? This is the moment of truth. I'll find out if he likes me of not once and for all. I wish he'd hurry and answer.

"Is the silence good or bad?"

"I'm finding the words."

"Okay."

"I like you enough to be selfish and inconsiderate."

"Meaning?"

"I shouldn't date you because I'll only ruin your life like I ruin all my girlfriend's lives but _I_ want to date you so I don't care."

"Oh… Eli it isn't selfish to want to be happy. You do know that right? Oh and I'm sure you didn't ruin Clare's life and Julia…it wasn't your fault. You have to let yourself live or else you'll just wither and die and that'd be truly selfish because you have people who care about you and who want you to live a long…healthy…happy life."

The moment I'd been waiting on since the date's beginning happened and it took me by surprise. Eli's lips met with mine and it took my breath away with each increasing lap of our lips. We'd stood up from the swings and his hand was placed firmly on my side. My mind was in a million places at once. What if I'm doing this wrong! What if my breath tastes like that supreme pizza we had earlier? A million what ifs traveled in my mind only to be stopped by the abrupt break for air.

"You kiss like you've never been kissed before."

"Eli that's…ridiculous. Of course I've been kissed before….why was it horrible?"

"No it wasn't that bad just a little all over the place. So I was your first kiss?"

"If your head gets any bigger you'll have to turn Morty into a convertible."

"You'll get the hang of it. I'll show you."

"This wasn't my first kiss."

"Then who?"

"This guy in daycare when I was about three. It was wet, sloppy and how I caught chicken pox."

"It doesn't count.

We stood at the swinging set, leaning against the pole, as we kissed. Something was set ablaze inside me and I wanted this moment to last forever. My arms were wrapped around his neck and he was bear hugging my waist. The moment was perfect until a stray pit bull chased us back to Morty. I guess that's our sign that I should go home…so that's where he took me. He walked me up to the door.

"Well Eli…this date has been nice. Thanks."

"No thank you. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing…why?"

"I got sucked into going to the campus with Adam to see Fiona. Want to go?"

"Sure…"

"See you at two."

"Two it is."

**What'd you guys think? Reviews please! Oh and in the next chapter we are going to find out something really….messed up about Jared's past so keep your eyes peeled! Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for reviewing!**


	9. Chapter 9

_I do not own Patty Mayonnaise from the show Doug_

**Olive**

"Olive's got a boyfriend!"

"Shut up Bianca! He's not my boyfriend."

"Then why'd you come home from your date late night blushing and why'd you draw this picture of him? This is actually really good…"

"I don't know why I drew this picture I just… I just did. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's okay to like him. I'll admit that I don't know what you see in him but… I guess he's okay. At least he has wheels."

"I don't care about the car."

"So you must _really_ like him."

"I don't know. Don't you have plans with Drew or something?"

"He's on the way over."

"Oh."

"What are you doing today?"

"Going with Eli and Adam to Campus."

"Oh. Hey I forgot to ask how Suave's went yesterday."

"It went okay. She just keeps analyzing me and asking me all these questions. It's creepy like she's trying to get into my head."

"She is trying to get into your head so she can put things where they should be."

"If you say so."

The doorbell rang Bianca answered it. Her prince charming is probably here by now. I guess they are kind of cute together. He seems to calm her down. I put the finishing touches on the picture and I went over to my closet to decide what to put on…. While I was slipping on the skinny jeans I'd picked out there was a knock at my door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me little sister…"

"Thought Drew was here?"

"I need to talk to you again!"

I opened the door and there was Eli. I shut the door in his face. I know it was rude but he can't see my room! He can't be in my room!

"Hold on just a minute! I'm not decent!"

I quickly slipped on the shirt and sweater I was planning on wearing. I also took the time to straighten up a little but in my quick sweep I forgot to put up the picture. I opened the door and he looked at me suspiciously before gliding past me and into my room.

"So this is Olive's room? Drawings for wallpaper…Teddy bear collection on the floor and a bedazzled laptop… You're definitely a girl."

"You know it's rude to just barge into a lady's room….plus you are ear…"

"I know I'm early but… Adam wanted some alone time with Fi before we intruded and I got stuck with dropping Drew off so I decided to visit you. I mean…if you want me to I could always leave."

"No…you might as well stay."

"Hello…who is this handsome gent?"

"Oh crap I knew I forgot something! I… could I have that please?"

"When did you draw this?"

"Does it matter when?"

"It's really good. Hey I know when this was. It was from last night."

"How'd you know?"

"The uh…monkey bars and the background gave it away. How'd you remember the scenery so well?"

"I just did. Nothing big."

"Could I buy this from you?"

"No…you can have it if you want it."

"Thanks."

Without any warning Eli scooped me up in his arms and kissed me. It took my breath away and when the kiss ended it was hard to regain it. It's like my body went into some kind of shock.

"Olive I could kiss you all day."

His lips pressed onto mine again and before I knew it we'd fallen onto my bed. One of his hands was on my hip and the other was in my hair. Every time I made a move he pulled me closer to him. We were so pressed together that I thought we'd meld into one. This was definitely more intense than last night that's for sure. He pulled away for air and he kissed my neck. It sent shivers down my spine and tingles to other areas of my body. This might sound crazy but being this close with Eli scared me for some reason. It sent a big dose of irrational fear coursing through me. I was scared by what I was feeling but too intrigued and sucked in to end the make out session.

"You smell like starburst and you taste like cherries… What is that?"

"My body butter."

"Nice."

When our lips found each other again I found out what he was raving about. My body butter does taste like cherries. It is cherry scented though, and apparently cherry flavored too. Bianca busted in the door and we jumped apart like opposing magnets.

"Well well well… What an interesting little sight. I was just breaking up the party to tell you that we are ordering pizza so if you want a specific type of topping let us know now."

"No… Eli and I have to go meet Adam and Fiona."

"Oh right. Have fun with that."

Bianca left, giving me a wink before she closed the door. I put on my sweater and shoes.

"Ready to go?"

"Sure."

**Jared**

I went into the kitchen to fix myself some cereal. When I got in the living room I noticed that my father was sitting in his chair drinking a beer. I got my food and I ate it as quick as possible but even my futile attempt to stay out of his sight didn't work. I can tell he's going to try something especially with my mother being gone to work.

"Come here boy!"

"Sir?"

"Sit down."

He was watching porn…some hardcore porn. He's always watching this and jacking off even in front of my mom. I just hate that he does this! He started caressing himself through his pants and I got uncomfortable as always. I hate this. I got up to go back in my room and in a matter of seconds he had me in a headlock.

"You think you're too old to be taught a lesson! Huh?"

"Get off of me!"

"You're just a little girl aren't you… a scared little girl!"

I heard his zipper come down.

"I know what little girls like you need…Huh… want some dick little girl?"

Not again! He will never do this to me again! Ever since I could remember he's been doing this but not anymore! I won't be his incestuous rape victim anymore! I elbowed him in the ribs and I kicked him in his exposed nuts. He bowed over in pain. I went into my room and I grabbed everything that was important. By the time I came out he was partially recovered and he chased after me. I left out the door and I ran down the stairs. I will never come back to this place. Not as long as he's here!

I ran all the way to Clare's. By the time I arrived I was out of breath. I didn't even notice I was crying and sobbing.

"Jared wh…"

"Clare I need to stay here please."

"Sure… What happened to your neck?"

"It was my dad… Not ever again…not again."

She held me and patted my back. It was comforting. Her mom came to the door once I stepped inside.

"Clare who is this?"

"Mom this is Jared. He needs to stay here."

"Clare Diane Edwards what is the meaning of this?"

"Please Mrs. Edwards. I have nowhere else to go. If I go back he'll kill me."

"You can stay here for tonight Jared. Are you hungry?"

"Yes maam."

"I made ham, deviled eggs and mashed potatoes."

Clare took me to a room upstairs. There was cheer stuff everywhere. I take it this is her sister's room. I hope she doesn't get made about me sleeping in her bed for tonight. I put down my duffle bag and Clare sat beside me on the bed. I couldn't stop my crying.

"Your neck is bruising."

"I know… I'll just hide it."

"So your dad is abusive. He hits you?"

"Me and my mom. We came here to get away but she sent for him to come live with us here and I can't understand why. He's such a bastard."

"You know there are places you could go… Ms. Suave could have placed in a group home."

"Then what Clare? I'm homeless. Maybe I should just go back to Bruceton…stay with my aunts."

"At the risk of sounding selfish I want to ask you not to go. Jared I really like you. You are sweet, funny, normal and your shaggy red hair is kinda cute."

"I just… I'll stay Clare I just don't want to be anywhere near my father. He's hurt me enough."

"Well what happened today?"

"It's too horrible to mention.

She grabbed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. I calmed myself down and she gave me some time to get myself together. Where will I go after tonight? What will I do? I'm on my own and I'm scare to death.

**Clare**

"That poor boy. Clare I want to help him but we are barely holding our family together as it is and plus…you are a teenage girl, he's a teenage boy…I know what it's like being young."

"Mom it wouldn't be like that."

"Clare he's your boyfriend. I can't have you two shacking up under my roof."

"So you are just going to toss him out onto the street? I thought… I thought we were Christians."

"I'm not going to toss him onto the street. I'm going to call Father Jacobs and see if he has room for him at the church."

"Really mom?"

"Yes."

I stood aside quietly as my mother made the call. From the sound of things Father Jacobs had room for a roomie. My mom agreed to drop him off tomorrow.

"Well when Jared comes down for dinner we can tell him. Now…this won't be the fanciest living… A little room with bad lighting but he will have a bed with food, water and some guidance.,"

"Thanks mom!"

I went up the stairs to tell Jared the good news but when I got up there he was sleeping. I looked at his neck and I noticed that the bruising was really starting to set in. I have a feeling Jared's dad didn't only hit him but I think he did other stuff to him too… I just hope he knows he can talk to me… I hope he does talk to someone about the abuse. Holding things like that in only hurts you more.

**Eli**

So I know what the hell is going on here. I think I want to have sex with Olive. She's cool but every time I'm around her I have to touch her or kiss her. I'm starting to act like a total jerk wad. I find my eyes drifting down to her cleavage and I just cannot stop myself from sniffing her whenever we hug. She's been running through my mind all day and mostly it's thoughts about putting her in a pile driver. I'm a pervert! I just don't know what's come over me. I mean…sure I think about sex but I rarely want to only fuck a girl I like. This has me going crazy!

We were hanging out at a neat little café. Fiona and Olive went to the bathroom so I decided to get some advice from Adam who was floating in a bubble of bliss.

"I have a problem."

"What is it?"

"I wanna bang Olive two ways from Sunday and around the Earth."

"Is that…."

"I'm a pervert Adam."

"Eli you actually sound like…"

"A douche."

"A sex addict. How long have you had these thoughts?"

"Since our date last night I've just wanted to plow that field!"

"Dude you have to get a grip! I know you are going through some sexual frustration after dealing with Clare but whatever you do, don't have sex with Olive unless you are looking for something long term with her."

"Tell that to my d…"

"Shut up here they come. Man Fiona is hot."

"And Adam is whipped. I'm happy for you man."

"Thanks."

Olive sat at the table beside me and the conversation flared up again. My idle hands became the devil's plaything apparently because I placed my hand on Olive's thigh before I even realized I was doing it. She shifted her body and then she offered to refill the drinks. I feel like a wolf and I'm about to prey on her. I helped her take the cups up to the counter and I couldn't help but look at her butt. I'm horrible. I'm terrible! I deserve to be beat!

"Having fun so far?"

"Of course. Adam and Fiona are always fun to hang with."

"What about me?"

"Yeah…you're okay too."

"What are you doing after this?"

"Nothing much just going home to watch Sex in the City."

"No you aren't. You're hanging with me."

This poor girl just wants to watch "Sex" and all I can think about is getting her to have sex.

"You know I don't go for guys bossing me around. This isn't the fifties… It could be considered kidnapping you know?"

"You're right…Olive would you like to like to get a cream pie after this?"

Dammit a Freudian slip!

"Excuse me?"

"A cream pie from the icecream shop! Don't tell me you've never had one…with meringue and mousse."

"Oh…. I almost thought you meant something else."

I did!

"Of course not. What is a cream pie?"

"Never mind…"

After we drank the refill of coffee I dropped Fiona back off at campus and she had a pair of jeans that Olive supposedly had to try on so Adam and I sat out in the car.

"Adam I'm a filthy pig. I asked her if she wanted a cream pie."

"Dude! What the fuck… I hope you meant the actual food?"

"Well I didn't mean it that way...It just slipped out! So after we drop you off we are going to the icecream shop."

"It's like you are turning into a wolf or something."

"Guess you could say do. I just wanna bend her over Morty's hood and give it to her raw until her pus…"

"Hey hey hey hey! Language and vulgarity! You have a bigger problem than I thought. I wonder what this sudden attraction is triggered by."

"This is just like Patty Mayonnaise."

"That's her real name?"

"I know that's a cartoon character's name but… after Julia died, when I decided to move on I asked her out and we hung out a lot. She was cool and funny and sweet with a surprising innocence to her. Then one night she came over to watch some old school zombie movies and the next thing you know…"

"You killed her?"

"No. I did her through every square inch of my house. I growled at her, bit her, pulled out some of her hair, pinned her down, scratched her and did I mention that when I bit her…I drew blood?"

"Eli you are a monster. Didn't Bullfrog and Cece catch you?"

"No… they were gone. It was just me, Patty and her pleads for mercy….her claw marks are still on the floors in the kitchen."

"Wow Eli and you wanna do that to Olive."

"No. I wanna fuck Olive all through my house, the car and the garage. Maybe outside and definitely in my neighbor's hot tub so I can hear the water slapping up against her fat juicy a.."

"LANGUAGE! I'm going to do some research to help you. If push comes to shove… Wait wrong wording… If times get hard… Still wrong wording. If things get crazy just get away from her. Whatever became of Patty after that day?"

"It was the first week of school last year. I moved to Degrassi on the second day of school after the incident, I blocked Patty's number and I started seeing Clare."

"Oh. Well don't be all excited but here comes your next victim."

She sat in between me and Adam in the car and the smell of her fruity body butter filled my nostrils. I found myself growling low and slow.

"Eli did you just growl? Werewolf much? It is a full moon. Should I be scared?"

"Yeah dude…should we be scared?"

"No I was just clearing my throat. Adam we're dropping you off and then Olive and I are off to uh…"

"Get a cream pie. The way you described it makes me really want one…yummy in my tummy."

Adam coughed suspiciously and she tried to help get him catch his breath. Yeah…yummy…in her tummy. Help us all!

**Thanks for reading please leave a review and tell me what you think. I would really like to get some feed back if it isn't too much trouble...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Clare**

"How's father Jacobs treating you?"

"He's still nice. I like it there."

"Well that's good. Are you going to at least consider going to Suave?"

"No."

He won't go talk to anybody about what happened a month and a half ago when he showed up on my doorstep bruised and crying. I think he needs to see a counselor but I don't want to push the issue. I sat beside him on my bed. My mom has gone back to her old tricks… she and my father have been gone a lot lately. I hardly see her but I never see him.

Jared starting kissing me roughly. That was the problem; it was rough but without passion. It kind of hurt my lips.

"Jared, honey, calm down I'm not going anywhere."

We started kissing again and this time he softened up. His hand moved from my hip to the side of my breast. I hope Jared isn't getting any funny ideas. His hand moved back down to the bottom of my shirt and he went under it, placing his hand on my boob and groping it. Okay, he's groping my boob. That's no big deal. Suddenly his other hand moved down and went into my pants. I had to stop him.

"Jared what are you doing?"

"I just want to make you feel good."

"I'm just…"

"Yeah. Not ready. I guess I'd have to be Eli for that to happen. I'll see you around."

"Jared wait. We need to talk about this."

He walked out of my house and the worst part is that I was a little relived. I like him I just don't feel right with his hands all over me and with us kissing. I guess…. I guess maybe I'm still getting used to the fact that he's not Eli. Sure Jared is normal and with him I get to do normal stuff, but now that I have it, I don't think normalcy is what I want. As much as I hate to admit it I get angry when I see Eli riding around with Olive. I get depressed when I see them kissing and it just beats be into the ground when they walk around holding hands. I don't know if they are genuinely into each other, or if Eli is doing this to make me jealous. Either way, it's ruining my mental stability. I called up Adam to talk.

"Well hello Ms. 'I steal Adam's trix yogurt and laugh about it.'"

"You're still angry about that? I'm sorry."

"Yeah tell it to the jury. What's up?"

"What are the chances that I can bribe you for some information?"

"No Eli isn't dating Olive to make you jealous."

"How'd you know I was going to ask that? I mean I was just curious, nothing major. I'm dating Jared."

"Yes, and you are miserable. I know Eli's unpredictability made you scared but Jared's predictability is boring you to death isn't it?'

"Yes! Its driving me up a wall and he got mad at me today!"

"Why?"

"I wouldn't let him finger me and he bought up Eli."

"Ouch… so what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. He's cute and he's sweet. I'm so lost."

"Well I can't help you there."

"What are you up to tonight?"

"Fiona and I are watching movies at Olive and Bianca's house."

"With Eli?"

"With Eli. He's carrying some gore flick of course."

"Well you have fun."

"Hey now… don't sound so down."

"I'm not. I have plans with Alli tonight."

"Oh right. The concert."

"Exactly."

"Well I will chat with you later. Have fun."

"You too."

I got off the phone and I went to my closet. I picked out a dress for the concert. The front was fully covered with silver sequins and the back was plain black. I was pairing the look with black heels and a black clutch. I jumped into the shower and I got fresh, making sure to also shave the parts that were going to be out tonight. I got dressed and I paired the loose fitting dress with a belt that cinched it at the waist. I looked amazing once all the finishing touches were put on. You never know, Beyonce might ask us to come on stage with her! I have to look like a Diva.

"Hello?"

"Clare we are outside. Hurry hurry! We need to get there early!"

"Okay Alli. I'll be right down chill out."

Sav was home for the weekend and he was nice enough to offer to be our chauffer. I greeted him and I got in the backseat where Alli was. I filled her in on what happened while we were on our way to the venue.

"So what's going to happen?"

"I'm going to patch things up with him but…he's still not touching my vagina."

"Language back there ladies!"

"Oh don't mind him Clare! He's never heard such harsh language before."

After Sav dropped us off we went in and sat down. Front row and center. As far as guilt presents go…this takes the cake. My dad may be absent but the man knows how to give gifts.

"Well…maybe you still love Eli."

"In a Christian way. I have to love everybody."

"Clare don't try and pull that bullshit with me. I see how you look at him every day. You still love him."

"And he likes Olive."

"Likes, not loves….you could still win him back."

"What about Jared?"

"Not to be harsh but he has bigger issues to deal with."

I sang along to the songs and I danced at the concert after Alli convinced me to be bad this once and steal Eli back. It's high time I stop denying myself and do it. Yes, Eli scares me but he excites passion in me that nobody else seems to be able to ignite. There's no denying that I still deeply love him and want him. I just hope Jared isn't too hurt.

Beyonce took the stage and we danced and sang along. She didn't call anyone up on stage but I have a feeling none of the audience members were too disappointed. After the show we walked to the waffle restaurant down the street from the venue. We took a seat and ordered. The bready waffles, sweet syrup and salty eggs hit the right spot. It was the perfect fourth meal. After having the main course we ordered coffee and Alli called our faithful driver to come and pick us up. He dropped me off back home and I said goodbye to the Bhandari's. Before I got fully out of the car Alli winked at me. I guess I know what that means.

**Olive**

What used to be a movie day has turned into a make out fest. Eli and I were in my room and this time the lights were off. There's something about being in the dark that makes me more nervous, especially now that his icy hands are snaking up my back to my bra. I subtly pushed them down and they landed on my ass. I guess that's okay. While we were kissing he just swatted me on the ass.

"Did you just slap me on the ass?"

"I thought you deserved a spanking."

"Eli, you get a little stranger every day."

"You have no idea how strange I can be."

We started making out again and this time his hands were planted firmly on my hips. I started to think about things. How will I tell Eli what happened to me and why I'm really going to Suave? Will it creep him out? Will I ever be ready to give myself to someone? Eli must have noticed how distracted I got because he stopped kissing me. I turned over, putting my back to him while I cradled myself.

"Olive what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"I think I need to talk to you. We've been dating for almost two months."

"Is it because I forgot a one month anniversary gift?"

"Eli I'm serious right now…please stop joking."

"Olive what's going on? Is it something I did or said?"

"No. You've been great. I just… I can tell you want to take things further. It's only natural but I think you should know the reason I'm going to Ms. Suave and the reason I was such an angry person…. When I was fourteen I…never mind. I don't need to tell you this."

"Olive. Whatever it is you know I won't judge you. I want you to be able to talk to me about stuff. You don't have to hold it in. I'm not going to stone you or blame you."

"I was raped. I don't know why I just… I felt like you should know. Please don't tell anyone. Not even Adam."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Just me, Bianca, the guy who did it, Ms. Suave and god oh…and now you know too."

"I'll take it to the grave. If you want to slow down we can."

"I would like that."

I looked at him and he didn't give me the "pity face" or any other weird stuff. He simply held out his arms and we started kissing again. This time there was less groping and more hugging. I felt wanted and understood.

Later that night when Eli and the rest of our company left, Bianca and I hit up the town to do something we haven't done in ages. We went to the one dollar midnight movie. It's usually and old black and white romance film. We payed to get in and then we sat up in the balcony. The film being shown tonight was _The Women_. I love this movie.

"I told Eli about what happened."

"How'd he take it?"

"He was cool about it."

"What bought it up?"

"He was reaching for my bra and it made me start thinking, I got distracted and depressed and it just came out."

"Oh…well he should know. He's your boyfriend. How are things between you two?"

"Good. He smacked me on the ass tonight."

"That was a colorful move. What did you do?"

"I called him on it."

"Oh…what about the big ex situation?"

"I think he's finally getting over her."

"More room in his heart for you."

"I guess. I think he'll always love her like crazy but I think right now he's sick of trying to prove it to her."

"Interesting. I love this part…."

We shut up and watched the movie. After the show we went to this street vendor to get burritos. It was the best burrito and coke I have ever had in my life. When we made it back home I was beat. My mother was just getting home.

"Where have you two been?"

"To the one dollar movie."

"What picture was showing?"

"_The Women…_ Bianca cried."

"Guilty. Well I'm beat. Night Ma."

"Night Bibi."

"Yeah I'm tired too…"

"Wait a minute. Olive, can I talk to you?"

"What's up Ma?"

"Your sister told me you had something you were hiding from me. Something important?"

"The fact that I have a boyfriend?"

"Any fool could see that you and Eli are dating. He's around all the time."

Tears started to well up in my mother's eyes. I wonder how long she knew about this? I wonder when Bianca told her and why she didn't tell me? My mother hugged me and we cried together.

"You could have told me Olive. I'm your mother we could have gone after the little creep."

"I was scared and I didn't want anyone to know."

"As mothers, we try to shield you from the bad things in life but some of them we can't protect you from and I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

We started wiping our tears and she had me sit down for hot chocolate with her.

"How is your therapy going?"

"It's going okay. It's boring but I guess it works. I feel a little better."

"That's good. Olive I want you to know that no matter what happens, you can always talk to me. I'm your mom and I love you."

"I love you too Ma."

I felt complete in an odd way. There was another weight lifted off my chest now that my mother knew what happened. I always felt kind of guilty for having her think my anger and distance was normal teenage behavior. I'm so glad she knows now so that I can get the closure I need for life to move forward.

**What did you think? Some feedback would be nice if you aren't busy. =0**


	11. Chapter 11

**Eli**

Olive and I have officially been dating for two and a half months. It was over a month ago that she told me about what happened to her and we've talked about her feelings. I can't imagine what it did to her to hold it in that long but I'm glad she's letting it out now. It's Friday and I don't want to be at Degrassi but Adam is too busy to skip so I decided to show up anyway. I got through the doors and I went to my locker. Once I opened it my phone buzzed. I had a text.

_Clare: Eli, can we talk? Please?_

_Eli: When and where?_

_Clare: In Morty afterschool._

_Eli: I have plans afterschool._

_Clare: Well how about now?_

_Eli: Meet me in ten._

If Clare is using me for penis again she is going to be highly disappointed because I am a one woman man. That's right… I've never cheated in a relationship and I don't intend to now especially not now that Olive has opened herself up to me. That would be like stabbing her in the back with her own sword. I went out to Morty and I opened the door only to see Clare there laying down.

"What are you doing?"

"Hiding. Now come on before we get caught."

I got in and took off. Things were silent for a while as we went to the old demolished church so many of our memories are planted. Once I parked she took a deep breath and she started telling me what this was all about.

"I've realized something."

"What is that?"

"I thought I wanted normalcy but I don't."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you. So bad that I can't stand it Eli!"

Clare was crying and sobbing in the front seat of my car. I didn't know what to do. Just months ago she was saying we could never date again now she's here falling apart saying she wants me. This is the moment I've been waiting for and the moment I'm happy is happening. I just wish it'd happened sooner before there was so much at stake and before so many people were involved in our mess.

"Clare you can't just decide you want me back after telling me we can never be together again! I'm not your puppet!"

"I don't want you to be I just…you scare me Eli, that still hasn't changed. I was more afraid with you than I've been in my entire life but I've also never been more excited and consumed by passion. Eli please just scare me…take me back and scare me."

"I don't want to scare you Clare. I'm tired or scaring people! It's not fair Clare! This isn't fair! How long did you know! Why wait until now when I'm with somebody else?"

"I don't know. Eli tell me you don't feel it too! Tell me you aren't bored to death with Olive and that you don't spend every second of the day thinking about us."

"I do think about us Clare but I'm moving on. Like you wanted to do."

"At least think about it Eli."

"I'll think about it."

She seemed somewhat relieved. We didn't go back to the school right away. Instead she told me about her problems with Jared. The guy has some demons but I can't really judge him for that. We all have shit we have to face. Guess the ginger jock isn't so perfect after all and I judged a book by its cover. Talking to Clare, really talking to her, it was like old times. I finally had the chance to get what I so desperately craved and wanted but it will cost me so much. I don't want to hurt Olive. She's been sweet and I don't want her to think I was just with her until something better came along. Even though I'm telling Clare I'll think about it I know my mind is already made up. I'm going to take her back but she won't know when.

**Jared**

Things with Clare and I have been rocky but if she would just let me…make her feel good things would be okay. I need to prove that I can do it. I need to prove that I am straight and that I can please women. That son of a bitch won't win this battle. I saw Clare at her locker. Football season is over so I don't really have much to do with myself.

"Clare."

"Oh hi Jared."

"Can we hang out tonight? Father Jacob extended my curfew to eleven."

"Okay, where do you want to go?"

"Well… last year's captain, Riley…"

"Yeah, I know Riley."

"He's having a party in his dorm and he invited us. A college party… do you want to be my date?"

"Sure."

Things are looking up already. I'll get a few drinks in her, loosen her up and then I'll give her the best night of her life. I have to get things for this night… protection, candles, a thank you card… nah that's too pathetic. I never wanted a girl as much as I want Clare because if I can't get this right with her that means my dad was right… I'm just his little faggot.

After I parted ways with Clare I went to get ready. The hot water was out again. I guess a cold shower would do me some good right now. I should be saving all my good stuff for tonight. After I got dressed I grabbed my coat. Just as I was leaving Father Jacobs stopped me.

"Jared, son how are things with school going?"

"Very well Father Jacobs."

"That's great. Off for a date with Clare?"

"Yes sir…"

"You two have fun but not too much fun. I remember what it was like to a young lad going parking and such."

"Father you went parking?"

"Hey I wasn't always under these vows. Paint the town red…responsibly."

My next stop was to the store. I looked at all the condom selections and I decided on "ribbed for her pleasure." I also got some lube, tea candles and a cigarette lighter. It's amazing the amount of stuff pockets will conceal.

I stopped for some pizza at the dot; I paired it with coffee which was a bad idea. I pee a lot when I'm nervous. That, plus the way caffeine makes you piss, had me making water like a camel! Once I left the dot I went to Clare's house. She was still getting ready so she had me sit on the couch. She came out wearing a pretty pink dress. She looks so beautiful like… A strawberry marshmallow peep.

"Well how are we going to get to this college party?"

"I have a cab outside."

"Oh, smart thinking."

I helped her in and we were on our way. The party was wild and there were half naked girls there along with more beer than a man could drink in one sitting. I had a cup but Clare chose to keep to her bottled water.

"You won't even try one drink?"

"No. Drinking clouds your decision making abilities plus I know the dangers of drinking at parties. My sister was roofied once."

"Oh…sorry about that. Hey do you wanna go upstairs and talk. This cigarette smoke is hurting my lungs."

"Okay."

We went to an unlocked room that was completely empty. I locked the door and we sat on the bed. I pulled out the candles and I lit them while I sat the condoms and lube on the bed.

"Clare this is all for you. The time is right and we should have our first time."

"Let me get this straight? You decided for me that the time is right now you expect me to have sex with you on some frat boy's sticky, stinky sheets? No thanks."

"Clare wait!"

I pulled her back trying to make her stay. I kissed her as hard as I could, trying to show her that I could be passionate. She struggled to pull away but the more she struggled the tighter my grip around her jawbone became. She has to see that I can be a man!

"Jared stop it! You are sick and you need help!"

I pulled her back again and I threw her on the bed. She's just playing hard to get right? She… she really wants this as much as I do. I saw tears streaming from her eyes as she tossed and turned on the bed. I placed my fingers around her neck and I choked her. On porn that's all the rage…that's what guys do. They choke girls they are going to make love to. While I choked her I fingered her roughly trying to find her g-spot. Tears rolled down her face, maybe she's cumming. Someone knocked on the door and I broke my concentration. Clare leaped away from the bed and opened the door quickly. She ran out crying. What did I do wrong? The guy at the door was buff with curly hair. He saw me break down… what did I do wrong?

"I'm not what my father said… I'm not gay… I'm not a faggot. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"

"Hey man chill. I'm Riley… are you okay?"

"I'm not… I'm not gay, I'm not… I'm not. I didn't want it. I'm not gay…"

**Olive**

Tonight is the night. I think I'm finally ready to give myself to Eli. I talked to Ms. Suave about it in therapy and though she couldn't condone it officially as a faculty member she said there would be nothing wrong with me doing it.

The house was all ours because Bianca and Drew were at some college party. Eli and I were making out in my room as usual. Ever since I told him what happened his hands have roamed less but tonight my hands were the ones doing the roaming. I spidered them down to his button and I undid his pants. He pulled away from me and looked at me with confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"I… I want to take to next step."

"Olive you don't know what you are saying."

"I do know what I'm saying. I've talked to Suave about it and everything. Eli I want to be with you. I want to have a good memory please?"

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

He kissed me harder letting his hands roam all over my body like they used to. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but eventually I got used to it. He kissed my neck and with the ending of each kiss his teeth made contact with my sensitive skin. It felt good. He slowly slid down the skirt I was wearing until I was only in my retro Rugrats panties and my shirt. He spread my legs apart gently and he put his weight against me. His hardness pressed against my core making me both nervous and anxious about the upcoming memory. He pulled a condom from his pocket before ditching his pants. I got a lump in my throat just seeing the size of his length… Feeling is one thing and seeing it is another. Fear started to set in on me but I decided not to be scared. This is Eli, and he would never hurt me. He cares about me.

I watched him roll the condom onto his enormity. After he did we ditched our shirts and he payed some attention to my breasts. He palmed one while he payed attention to the other one, flicking my nipple and placing soft kisses all over it. I felt like I could pull my own hair out, it just felt so nice. It felt right. Foreplay couldn't last forever though and the time came for the moment of truth. He positioned himself on top of me.

"Is this okay for you?"

"Yes. It's okay…"

He went in slowly and this time it wasn't an intrusion it was a union of our bodies. He wasn't taking anything I was giving it to him and I felt normal. For once since the incident I felt normal and not like some mutated fragment of a woman. He got himself fully in and it was a tight fit, it hurt but not too much. He was gentle. He started to move himself in and out of my waiting core. With every stroke the pain faded and dissolved into the pool of pleasure awaiting me. He sped up the pace and kissed me passionately. I tried to conceal my moans but his thrusts bought them out of me. He smiled cockily before kissing me again and slowing down. It drove me crazy, every move was a million times more intense but the anticipation was killing me so I asked him to speed it up again. When I finally did fall into the pool of pleasure, the bliss immersed every part of my body and made me forget my ills. For that moment I could feel the earth turn, I could feel my pulse in every part of my body from my crown to my toes and I knew this was the best official first time any girl could have. Eli followed me into bliss shortly, he grunted, groaned, hissed and then he plopped down on the bed beside me. I snuggled up to him.

"Thanks Eli."

"For what?"

"Making this perfect."

"You know what would make it even more perfect? Let's go to the dot for a shake?"

"Icecream is the perfect ending to anything… let's go."

**Clare**

I can't believe what just happened! Jared tried to rape me! He touched me! He choked me! I walked all the way home from the party crying. My body was hurting and my throat burned. I still found it hard to catch my breath, probably because I was hyperventilating. I walked past the dot and I saw Eli in there with Olive. I don't care about her right now! I need Eli! He's mine and I need him or else I'm going to fall apart. Lucky for me she went into the bathroom I walked into the restaurant and everybody looked at me. Eli had a look of confusion, anger and pity on his face. He ran to my side.

"Clare what happened?"

"Eli he choked me and hurt me!"

"Who? Jared?"

"Yes…"

"Where is he now?"

"At Riley's party."

"Let's go."

We took off in Morty and we went to the party. By the time we'd arrived everyone was clearing out. Only the drunkards and booty calls were sticking around. Since Eli didn't get to kick Jared's ass he blew off steam by going to our favorite spot. The moon was beautiful and so were the stars. I told him the specifics of it and suddenly he went into a frenzy.

"Shit! Olive!"

He looked at his phone and there were ten missed calls from her. Oh, she was at the Dot with him wasn't she? We got back to the dot and the restaurant was closed. Olive was getting into a cab. She looked like she'd been crying. Eli flagged her down…

**DUN DUN DUN…What did you think? Leave some reviews. I really enjoy getting feedback…just saying. Thanks ahead of time. =)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Olive**

"Olive! Wait up!"

"No! Fuck you! Fuck her! Fuck you both! I'm done!"

"Let me explain…"

"No there is nothing to fucking explain! You left me here to go and run up behind her! That's what she fucking wants you to do! If she was that hurt why didn't she go to the hospital or to the fucking police station! You two fucking deserve each other! I can't believe I actually let myself think you were into me or that you cared about me! I was probably just some stunt to get her to take you back! I just can't believe… I can't believe any of this right now."

"Olive just talk to me!"

"What is there to say Eli? Do you know how humiliating that was! To come out of the bathroom to find your boyfriend gone because he's gone on some mission to fight his EX girlfriend's boyfriend? I FELT LIKE AND IDIOT! I wasn't worth anything to you! You just left me like an old jacket or trash for the busboys to throw away! I never want to talk to you again!"

"Please don't do this…."

"No you don't do this! Let go of my hand!"

"We need to talk about this!"

"I don't want to talk."

"We have to talk."

I took off running and I was partially blinded by tears. I just wanted to get away from Eli right now. Just looking at him is making me feel like an even bigger idiot. He never cared about me and he never will. I was probably just some easy lay for him because I'm naïve and wounded. He probably just wanted to have a little fun before Clare took him back. I feel like such a dumbass. The tears were so thick in my eyes that I could barely see where I was going so it's no surprise I didn't see the bicycle coming right for me. Before I knew what happened I'd been flipped and tossed and the worst physical pain I've ever felt before was in my leg. I looked around and the guy on the bike was getting up. He had a helmet on…lucky him. I saw Eli and Clare running towards me. I wish that bike had been a bus.

"Olive are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Just go away!"

"Look at your leg!"

I looked down and the bone was sticking through my skin. I thought I was going to pass out.

"You have to let me take you to the hospital."

"I'll be fine. It's just a scratch."

"You're being irrational…the bone is hanging out of your leg! It's not just a scratch."

"I'll call Bianca."

He picked me up forcefully while Clare assisted him. This could be considered kidnapping. They put me in the back part of Morty and took me to the hospital. When I got there they got me right back and the nurse told me she'd call my family. I was going to have to have surgery. This night has gone from great to good to horrible to the absolute worst! In addition to being made a fool out of, the guy I'm in love with and the girl he ditched me for ended up bringing me to the hospital. Again… I wish that bike had been a bus.

When I got out of surgery I was groggy but not to groggy to remember what happened. I started to cry again. Maybe some people just aren't meant to be happy and I guess I'm one of them. Everything was perfect with me and Eli then in an instant I realized I was just a fill in until the "bigger, better deal" came along. I wish I hadn't been so stupid! I gave myself to him and he treated me like nothing… I meant nothing to him. I wasn't worth him remembering when it came to Clare. One thing is for sure… this is the first and last time I'll feel this way about anybody. The nurses ushered my mom, Bianca and surprisingly Drew into the room. I wish they'd gone home.

"Olive baby, are you in pain?"

"No it's not my leg."

"What did Eli break up with you or something?"

"….. I broke up with him but he may as well have said the words."

"Olive I was just kidding…what happened?"

"Clare Edwards."

**Jared**

"I knew I was gay when I was young but I tried ignoring it, hiding it, getting rid of it and all that jazz… you, I don't think you are gay dude. You didn't ask for what happened to you. It wasn't your fault. You should get some help. I know therapy seems lame and useless but it helps. I had anger problems and I was living in a world of denial but through therapy I eventually learned to accept who I was. I know me being gay and you being raped don't seem to have much in common but… I think you have sexuality issues."

"Clare hates me."

"Probably…you choked her and molested her. The most you can do is apologize. Show her that you are getting help…I should probably get you home. We've been in this McDonald's for hours. They might try to kick us out."

"I broke the curfew."

"I'll talk to father Jacobs."

This night has been horrible. I tried to hurt Clare and I can't believe I did that. I just thought that's what women wanted. I don't know anything. I just wanted to prove that I could be a man. Maybe everybody was right…maybe I do need some therapy to deal with this. I know the perfect therapy. I asked Riley to take me to one more place before taking me to the church. My mom's apartment. I got close to the door and I heard blundering followed by the sounds of breaking glass and whimpering. I opened the door to see my father beating my mother. She was nearly unconscious on the ground. When he saw me he smiled a little before drunkenly charging at me. I moved and he ended up going straight into the hallway. He was drunk so he stumbled and fell down the steep steps. He lay at the bottom lifeless and with his body contorted in an almost inhuman kind of way. I went into the house to call the police. Not for his corpse but for my mother.

"Mama, mama can you hear me?"

"You killed him didn't you Jared? You killed your daddy didn't you?"

"No Mama…he killed himself."

Riley came up before the police got there and by the time they arrived the entire building had gotten suddenly nosy. They got my father's mangled body and asked the landlord for a copy of our hallway's security tape to verify my story. The medics loaded my mother up and took her to the hospital. They said she'd be fine…I hope she will be. When it was all over I fully took in the fact that it was all over. I'll never hear his insults, feel his abuse or see his evil again. It was all over…

**Clare**

"Maybe we should send flowers. Eli I feel horrible."

"About what?"

"Everything."

"Clare you don't feel bad about stealing me back."

"I didn't think it would be this way though… I thought you'd get to break up with her properly."

"How'd you know what I'd decided?"

"The look in your eyes… I just feel bad. She broke her leg. She's in the hospital and it's our fault!"

"I feel bad too I just don't know of anything that would help right now."

I never imagined things would play out this way. I never imagined the poor girl would get left at the Dot, be run over by a bicycle or hospitalized. Did all of this really have to happen tonight for me to obtain Eli? I mean the heartbreak was inevitable but the rest didn't have to be did it? I'm a jezebel! A floozy and I planned it the entire time! I should probably be the one laid up in the hospital with a broken leg.

"Don't beat yourself up."

"I can't help it. I feel guilty."

"Well Clare we made the bed now we have to lie in it. Let's just face the facts that Olive hates us."

"It's eight in the morning."

"That's right it is…should you be at home?"

"No…both my parents are out of town. Maybe we could go to the hospital?"

"You won't be content until you try this?"

"No."

We went to the hospital and got Olive's room number. When we got in the room I was relieved to see that nobody else was in the room but her. She wasn't sleeping but she was looking out the window.

"Olive?"

"….."

"It's Eli and Clare."

"I'm not blind or stupid."

"I'm sorry… I never meant for things to play out this way."

"No…really? So you didn't have a broken leg in your plan for stealing him back?"

"I'm trying to apologize."

"I don't accept! I'm not going to help you clear your guilty conscience."

"Well I tried…"

"Clare I'll be a minute."

"Okay."

I went out of the room and I sat in the waiting area. I think she's angrier with Eli than she is with me. I tried to apologize. I guess that counts for something right? You know what's craziest out of all this madness? Even though I hate how Eli fell back into my arms I'm glad he did.

**Eli**

"I'm sorry."

"Are you really? For which part? How long did you know you were going to go back to her? Did you know…did you know last night when we had sex?"

"Yes."

"And you did it anyway! Was I just some rebound?"

"I don't like to call it that!"

"You are a liar! Before we started this…before I fell in love with you I asked you if I was a rebound and you said no… you lied to me Eli."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah you are…the sorriest motherfucker I ever seen. Did you even care about me at all?"

"You want the truth?"

"Yes….finally…that would be nice."

"I thought you were nice and sweet. You were a distraction from Clare and until I found out about your past… I only wanted you for sex but then I…"

"I get it. Your pity for me disguised itself as fondness. Just get out."

Seeing Olive so angry, bitter and crying was something I wasn't used to. I created this monster and it's really my fault. I did lead her on and last night I did use her knowing that I was going back to Clare. I feel bad I just wish there was some way to let Olive know that hurting her wasn't my intention. Even though I'm not happy to see her hurt, I am happy to have Clare back. I'd be lying if I said I was over her or that I didn't love her. I'm done denying myself and done hurting people.

**Let me know what you think! I really like hearing feedback from you guys! Reviews are like fuel for my typing little fingers. Thanks for the review ahead of time!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Eli**

"Well this is a mess. Eli I'm going to have to ask you to never do anything so reckless again. Do you know how hard it is to be friends with you and Clare plus Olive at the same time? Woe is me!"

"Well I'm sorry I've created so many problems for you Adam…"

"Well are you finally happy?"

"I am. I still have this enormous boulder of guilt hanging above my head but I'm happy. I have my Clare."

"Well… It's not going to be a smooth road but I'm going to help Olive get over you just stay out of her way."

"How is she?"

"Angry and on crutches. Well… that was the bell. Student body president has to go announce the homecoming dance. What do you think about me in a sin red suit?"

"I think you should stick with something more classic."

"Yeah you're right… Catch you later you dirty dirty dog."

I went to my locker and I got my books out. When I closed it Clare was standing there. The bruises around her neck were starting to disappear. I grabbed her hand and she smiled at me weakly.

"What?"

"I just found out that Jared's dad died Friday night."

"That's… wow."

"As messed up as it is… I don't think he meant to hurt me."

"What are you getting at?"

"I need to break up with him. Properly."

"Then I'm coming with you. I don't want you alone with that nut. Clare if anything ever happened to you I'd snap."

"I know I know."

I stole a kiss from her sweet lips and then I walked her to class. I went to my own class. I hate review days but I guess they are good if you want to catch a little shut eye…. I couldn't dose as much as I wanted to though because the teacher decided to call on people randomly. Damn.

Once I got out of class I saw Olive again. She's like a ghost, an angry one. She had on a backpack that looked like it was weighing her down. She never carries a backpack. I guess she has no choice since she has to use her hands to hold her crutches. When our eyes made contact the pain and anger was evident in her face. Only time will heal some wounds I guess. I don't know what I could do to make this better. I've never been in a situation like this before. With Patty it was different. I didn't actually date her… we were only friends but with Olive it's more complicated. I did care about her and I did care for her.

I went to my locker to switch out books and I got caught by the bell. I noticed that she and I were the only ones in the hallway. A week ago this would have been a good thing but now its awkward and even though I know there is nothing I can say to her to make her listen to my apology I have to try.

"Olive."

"What do you want? I have to get to class."

"I wanted to apologize again. Please just hear me out."

"I've already heard you Eli. You didn't mean to hurt me this way but you did."

"I've made some really bad decisions. I'm just so sorry you had to get mixed up in all of this mess Olive Garden."

"Now is hardly the time for that idiotic joke Eli. Goodbye."

**Clare**

Jared and I sat at the table in the dot while Eli hung at the bar. I let him apologize before I broke the news.

"I'm so sorry Clare I never wanted to hurt you that way! I honestly… I don't know what's wrong with me!"

"Jared you hurt me and nothing can ever change that."

"I know but I want you to know that I'm going to therapy. I just started with Ms. Suave today."

"That's great…. I have to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I can't see you anymore."

"I understand. It's because I what I did and Eli…"

"How'd you know about Eli?"

"Clare it's all over the school what happened Friday night after the party. The dot is a place for hot gossip. If something exciting happens here everyone pretty much knows about it."

"I'm sorry about your father."

"Yeah well… I'm not. I feel free. When I watched them cremate his ashes Sunday it was like being able to breathe for the first time in my life. I'm sorry again. I'm a monster."

"You're just troubled Jared. Maybe when you get some help we can be friends… me, you and Eli."

"Of course."

I walked over to Eli and I sat down beside him. He slid a milkshake my way. It was chocolate and vanilla swirled together with a dollop of strawberry…my favorite and he remembered after all this time.

"How'd it go?"

"Better than I expected."

"That's good. So about this new relationship I think we should start over…new rules and all that jazz."

"What did you have in mind?"

"You have to tell me when I'm being too clingy before things get out of hand."

"Well you have to try to make me a part of your life not make you life all about me."

"Done Clare, believe it or not I have hobbies and stuff…"

"Oh and no more guns in Morty or car wrecks or trips to the nut house."

"I may be able to swing that. Oh and no more sex for you."

"What? Why?"

"You are waiting remember…you are celibate now."

"But…"

"Clare Diane Edwards you took vows! Plus, I am not your piece of man meat. I have morals."

"Sure you do, and big foot is real."

Eli put some chocolate on my nose so I put the cherry from my milkshake on top of his head. People started to look at us like we were crazy but I didn't care. I've missed him so much these past few months.

"So let's get one thing cleared up….you hate Morty? After he's been so hospitable you hate him?"

"I was speaking out of anger. Of course I don't hate Morty."

"Well he deserves an apology. He's a sensitive car Clare. He might look tough and mean but he's a marshmallow."

"I'll apologize."

"He'd appreciate that."

**Jared**

So Clare dumped me. I saw that coming. I can't even lie and say I didn't see it coming. I think since I got with her I've been expecting to be dumped by her but that's not really a major concern now. Now my main concern is making sure I don't hurt another person like I've hurt her and I have to get better. I have to be a better person. I won't let my father's abuse turn me into a monster or chain me down. I want to live my life and be happy and I think Ms. Suave can possibly help me be able to change my life for the better.

I got to my apartment and my mother was sitting on the couch crying. She's been crying since my father died Friday night and Sunday after the cremation she sobbed until she made herself sick. Me, I haven't shed one tear of sorrow. She got to see a sweet part of him but I never have. The most affectionate thing my father has ever done is kiss the back of my neck… but that was still abuse. He's never said a decent word to me or done a good thing for me. There is nothing to miss. He was a monster and nobody cries when a monster is slain. He deserves no tears.

"He kept saying he'd change."  
>"He never was going to change Mama. He was going to beat you to death and die from a bad batch of moonshine if Friday night never happened. He was a menace and I'm glad he's dead."<p>

"Don't say that! He was your daddy!"

"I'm made from his seed but he wasn't my daddy… he was my abuser and my rapist but not my father!"

"R…rapist?"

"When you were working or passed out from a beating he'd come and force me."

"Since when?"

"Since I was five years old."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would you have done about it! You were too weak to leave him! You would have just stayed and we'd both still be getting beat! We moved and you gave him our new address! We left one time and you called him to come pick us up because you said it didn't feel right with him not being in the bed with you! Mama he was a monster but you had the power to stop the pain for both of us! Why didn't you leave sooner? Why did you invite him into our new life?"

"When I first started dating your daddy there was no sweeter man. He was good to me and he treated me like a queen… even though I had a baby."

"What are you talking about?"

"He wasn't your real daddy Jared… Your real daddy died before you were born. He took us in and took care of us. He was nice and decent and then things started to change… He started getting drunk and violent and then the cruel words turned into vicious beatings but I couldn't leave because I knew deep down the sweet man I know and loved was in there somewhere under all the moonshine and jack…. I was always waiting for him to come out."

"Goodnight Mama."

**Olive**

"Stupid ass crutches! I hate crutches and I hate this itchy ass cast!"

"Olive just calm down you look like you are about to explode… just breathe."

"I'm breathing or whatever. Dumbass stairs!"

Getting up the stairs and into my house is proving to be very challenging and its pissing me off. Ever since I've gotten out of the hospital I'm angrier than ever and I don't know how to stop myself. I find myself throwing things and cursing a lot more than I used to. As if being handicapped isn't enough torture I have to watch Bianca and Drew being all coupley and happy. Yes, I'm sulking but at least I'm not crying anymore. I'm pissed, I won't lie and there is no telling when my cloud of anger and bitterness will dissipate. Maybe I just need to get away from Degrassi for a while. I'm glad the holidays are right around the corner and then I'll be away from that place for a few weeks.

As soon as I got into the house and onto the couch there was a knock at the front door. "Adam what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pull you out of your funk."

"All the perfume in the world couldn't kill this funk."

"You are about to come with me and Fiona to start on the decorations."

"Yeah…just put me to work."

"It will be fun. Music, pizza…"

"Just music and pizza?"

"Alright…coca cola and marshmallows too. Now will you come and hang with us?"

"I just got up those damned stairs!"

Getting down the stairs was surprisingly easy. I got into the cab.

"Adam how do you always have the money to get these cabs?"

"My uncle runs the company."

"Oh…neat."

We got to Fiona's and she had everything there to start making decorations. I cut out foam snowflakes while they dusted the trees with white glitter and shimmering powder. It did take my mind off of all the drama in my life right now.

"So what are you wearing to the dance Olive?"

"I'm not going."

"What? You have to go! You are doing all this hard work."

"Adam can take pictures. I'm staying home…resting my leg."

"Olive this is homecoming! The last big game! If you don't go to the dance you'll miss all the action."

"I've had enough action thank you very much. I'm not letting you talk me into anymore dances."

"We will see young Olive… We will see."

I know Adam good enough to know what this means… I guess I'm going to the stupid damn dance.

**What'd you think? Reviews please. Thanks!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Eli**

Clare came down the stairs wearing a blue dress. It hugged her curves perfectly but it didn't suffocate her. She looked beautiful. When she got down the stairs I grabbed her hand and kissed it. Her face flushed red. I guess I've still got it. Once she put on her coat and grabbed her purse we went on our way to the winter dance. Dances are okay every once and a while but I think Adam has gotten out of hand with planning them. The homecoming dance was just a few weeks ago! Clare seems to be pumped about it though so I'll go and I'll have a good time.

We arrived at the school and checked our coats at the door. Ms. Dawes and Ms. O were working the ticket table. We gave them our passes and then we went into the dance where things were already in full rotation. Adam spotted us out before we spotted him.

"Eli, Clare…you two look great!"

"Thanks Adam, you've done a beautiful job decorating."

"Well I'd like to take all the credit but my team really did a lot of the work."

"Who is your team exactly?"

"Oh, Alli and Olive."

Every time I see her or hear her name I think about tall that ways that the universe is going to kick my ass for breaking that girl's heart. We haven't spoken in months but she no longer rolls her eyes at me or looks at me with pained expressions. I looked around the room and I saw her standing around talking to Bianca, Drew, Jared, some guy I don't know and surprisingly…Alli. I guess she's over the whole boiler room incident.

"Dance with me Eli. I love this song."

I held Clare in my arms while we danced close and slow to the ballad that was blasting through the speakers. I forgot about all my guilt and I focused on this moment with Clare. I haven't asked her to my prom yet. Its months away but I want to give her enough time to decide and get her outfit. I can't believe this is my last year of high school. After this… it will be college. I just hope Clare doesn't think our relationship has to end because I'm going to be graduating from Degrassi.

When the song ended Clare and I broke up our lover's embrace and we went to the punch table where Alli was. She and Clare squealed when they saw each other and they jumped in place before going out onto the dance floor to groove to the pop-y techno song that was playing.

"You look happy."

The voice that spoke was familiar, the words and the tone of voice just wasn't. I turned to look at Fitz, who was standing there beside me sipping on some punch. I wonder why he's here tonight and what he wants with me.

"They let you back in?"

"I'm coming back next year but tonight I came with Danielle."

"I don't know her."

"I know. Look dude, let's just bury the hatchet."

"Alright. I mean it this time. No ipecac or criminal fake ids."

"Cool."

The chat was interesting and brief. It wasn't long before Clare was walking back over to me. She was sweating a little and she was out of breath. I handed her a cup of punch while she fanned herself with one of the little paper plates that people were using for the finger foods.

"Hot?"

"Yes… That was a real work out."

"You looked amazing out there."

"You always think I look amazing."

"You always do Clare. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Then you'd know what all the fuss was about."

She pulled me by my hand. We went out into the empty hallway. It was dark with the exception of the moonlight shining through the windows.

"Eli I know you said no sex but…I really want you tonight. I need you inside me."

"Need or want?"

"Eli don't make me beg… please? Not so close to Christmas."

"You're sure?"

"I've never been surer. I want you to make love to me until dawn."

"Well then… your wish is my command."

We stayed in the hallway kissing for the longest time. The music from the gym sent a muted thud through the entire building. You could tell the party was in full rotation but I didn't care. I had my Clare and even though I said I wasn't going to have sex with her again until we were married, I'm happy that I'm going back on my word. Our bodies need this connection and this stress relief.

**Olive**

"Want to dance with me Olive?"

"Well I would Reese but… my leg and crutches."

"Don't worry about that. I've got you."

He whirled me around like I was weightless on the dance floor. Reese is my new crush, though I'm denying the fact to myself because I don't want to rush into anything. I've been getting to know him these past couple months because he's been helping organize the dances that Adam has been throwing so I guess Mr. Torres' compulsion to party has paid off for me in at least one way.

"Are you busy tonight or tomorrow?"

"No. I'll just be scratching my broken leg and watching Teen Wolf reruns tonight…and tomorrow."

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go have icecream with me tonight and go catch a movie tomorrow? You don't have to I just really want to hang out with you."

"Reese Reynolds do you like me?"

"Yes… I do. You are smart and funny and gorgeous."

"Well you aren't so bad yourself."

"I'm glad I got that off my chest. Not only because I wanted to tell you but because Adam threatened to paralyze me if I didn't."

"Well you know Adam."

"Yeah… so?"

"Sure I'll go have icecream with you and a movie with food sounds nice."

"Great."

When the song was over Reese went to help Alli get the raffle tickets and prizes together. That gave Adam and opportunity to grill the hell out of me.

"So… did he ask you?"

"Ask me what?"

"He didn't did he? I'm gonna take away his legs!"

"Adam he did ask me I was just joking. You have to be a bit less intense."

"You like him don't you?"

"Yes."

"Ohhhhhh Olive likes Reese! I bet you'll be like 'oh Reese please come and whisk my away in your civic and let's explore the city…eating!"

"Shut up! I do not only eat."

"I'm just messing with you. Have fun tonight. Oh and I put pepper spray into your coat pocket. If he turns out to be crazy, hose him down!"

"Thanks Adam and don't worry… I will."

The dance ended and I was just lucky I wasn't on the clean up committee. I bid my friends goodbye and I told Bianca I would be home a little later. She gave me that wink and then she went off with Drew.

Reese and I went to the best icecream shop in this part of town. Not only is it homemade but they have the best topping selection ever! Plus they don't just throw the toppings on top…they mix them in. It's wonderful.

"So I'll have two scoops of chocolate with Oreo cookies and… Olive what do you want?"

"I'll have two scoops of vanilla with double rainbow sprinkles."

"Coming right up."

Reese paid and then I limped over to the table we'd decided to sit at. I cannot wait until next week when I ditched this stinky cast and get my boot. At least I won't have to wag these blasted crutches around anymore.

"So… I never asked you how you broke your leg…"

"You mean you didn't hear it through the rumor mill?"

"No."

"Well…I was fighting with my ex and I ran off into the night only to be hit be a bicycle."  
>"Seriously? A bicycle hit and run. That is…"<p>

"Go ahead and laugh. Even worse than that he was the one to have to give me a ride to the hospital."

"That sucks. Well hopefully I won't be added to your list of ex boyfriends."

"Yeah hopefully you won't. So Reese… where did you come from? You just popped up at Degrassi and got involved."

"Well I'm from around here. I went to Lakehurst until I started living with my older brother. Degrassi was closer."

"Oh. So how do you like it?"

"The adjustment wasn't too bad because I've hung out at the dot for years so I just knew a lot of Degrassi people already. Then I saw you…"

"You saw me?"

"Yeah. I remembered Adam from the dot and since he was the student body president I figured he'd know who you were… he did and he helped me get to know you by putting us on decorations together."

"Wow… I feel so wanted."

"You are wanted. Whenever I'm talking to you even if it's about glitter and paint… I feel like I'm going to vomit but not in a bad way."

"That's how I feel right now!"

We ate our icecream and I found myself willing to fall into something new. Reese is cute and he's nice. Who knows, maybe this will turn out to be something good. A great romance that won't leave me in pieces…literally.

**Clare**

"Well this is luck! Who would have known Helen would actually come home tonight and demand I be home at a decent hour? I'll leave my window open."

He smirked at me in an odd way. I got out of the car and I went into the house. My mother was reading and dressed for bed.

"Clare I was just waiting for you to get home. Now I can go to sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I swiftly went upstairs and unlocked my window. Eli was already by it. I opened it and let him in. His lips viciously found their way to mine and I let out a slight moan because of the passion that the kiss had. He started unzipping my dress. It fell down around my ankles and my panties were next in joining them. Our lips met again and our tongues conversed. I could feel Eli's hardness through his pants against my naked core. While we kissed I started unbuttoning his shirt and then I undone his pants. They fell down around his ankles and he kicked them to the side. He snapped on a condom and suddenly he was filling me up. It was hard to contain my moans and whimpers but I had to because Helen was asleep so I bit my lip to keep from being too loud. Eli, however, seemed like he was determined to make me scream. With every thrust it made my entire body react in a way I can't explain. I held onto him as his erection ripped through my body in the most wonderful way. I started orgasming and I moaned out. Eli followed me soon after and he carried me over to my bed and then he went over to my waste basket and threw away the condom.

"Eli what would you do if I got pregnant?"

"I'd take care of you and the baby if that's what you wanted."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"No reason…just seeing a rubber full of little soldiers made me want to ask the question."

"Oh. Well there's no reason to worry about that. You are on the pill and we are careful."

"Yeah we are."

**Jared**

Tonight was fun. Seeing Clare always makes me want to shoot myself for hurting her but she seems happy now with Eli. I kind of get the feeling that he's who she wanted this entire time, she just didn't know it.

Therapy with Ms. Suave is helping though my wounds aren't anywhere near being healed. I still have a lot of work to do on myself before I'm where I need to be mentally but with the help of Ms. Suave, Riley and his boyfriend Zane I've come to realize this… being raped doesn't make you gay. I'm straight and through therapy I'm becoming more secure and confident in my sexuality. I've even met someone at my incest survivor's support group. Her name is Gerry. She's had to deal with abuse and molestation by her mother; we bonded over our trials and over coffee. She would have been my date tonight if she didn't have a dinner date with her father.

When I got home from the dance my mother was parked in front of the TV, but it was off. I walked around to see that she was writing something on her laptop.

"Mama I'm home. What are you writing?"

"My therapist thinks I should write down every feeling, my worst memories and all that jazz so that's what I'm doing."

"How much you have so far?"

'Eighty pages."

"Mama you don't have a note, you have a novella."

"Well if it's good maybe it will get published. I've realized now what a horrible man I was married to and if somebody reads this they can see that their abuser is a horrible person too."

"It's worth a shot. Goodnight Mama."

"Goodnight Jared."

**Please leave a review. Feedback and especially suggestions give me fuel to write. Thanks ahead of time!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Jared**

Gerry grabbed me by the hand and led me outside to the powdery snow. Snow ball fights have never been my strength but there's no way I'm going to let her win because if I lose she will never let me live it down.

After playing in the snow until our ears started burning we went back up to my place and she made hot chocolate. My mom is working so we basically had the place to ourselves…

"So what are you doing for Christmas?"

"Well my family from the states is coming to visit. I'm really excited."

"Oh."

"What about you?"

"I'm just gonna watch movies and pig out on junk food."

She looked a little sad. Her dad works all the time and she's usually left alone. I guess the holidays are no different.

"That's no way to spend Christmas. Come spend it with us."

"Are you sure? Your family won't mind?"

"Not at all."

She kissed me on the cheek and we continued drinking our hot chocolate. We talked about therapy and then we talked about cartoons and cereal. I like that I can just talk to her about anything no matter if it is stupid. I don't feel this pressure to just constantly be trying to be macho. I can just be myself. One day when the time is right, Gerry and I will take the next step. When we are both ready and the beauty of that moment will be great enough to cancel out the ugliness of our past.

Before it got dark I walked her to the bus stop and she caught her usual bus home. I went back up to mine and I went to sleep. Today was a good day and I know that there are only more awesome days like this to come in the future.

**Clare**

"Bullfrog and Cece thanks for letting me crash here for the holidays."

"No problem Clare. Are you sure your parents won't mind?"

"They are gone on some trips… It's just me…"

"Well Clarabelle we are happy to have you and even happier that you and my boy are back on. He was one sad sucker without you."

"Well I was sad without him too."

Eli and I smiled at each other awkwardly. Nothing like talking to parents about relationships to make a situation turn weird in only few seconds. After the embarrassing moment Eli took my luggage up the stairs to his room. I noticed that he still had it clean. I could see the floor and everything.

"Hotel Eli."

"Yeah, you did earn a free lifetime stay here."

"Thanks for letting me spend the holidays with you Eli."

"Clare don't mention it. Did your parents really go on a trip?"

"Yes…they aren't talking so my mom is going to Hawaii and my dad is going to Bangkok and both of them think the other is staying home with me. I wish they would have just talked or even asked me to relay the message."

"That sucks… you should talk to them."

"I'll probably just get slapped again."

"Well just know that you are welcome here."

I fell back onto Eli's messy unmade bed and he joined me. His room was warm. It's only three degrees outside so warm is a good thing. His room is also inviting… even with all the black and skulls everywhere. I found myself a little too comfortable in the bed. I ended up falling asleep surrounded by his thick black comforter. It was like the perfect winter oasis. I woke up to my cell phone ringing. I picked up and it was Darcy surprisingly.

"Darcy? What's up?"

"I'm home for the holidays and this house is completely empty…that's what's up."

"Mom and dad are gone."

"What? What do you mean gone?"

"Dad's in Bangkok and Mom's in Hawaii…"

"How did this happen?"

"After the divorce construction on the condo fell through so they were forced to both stay at the house so they are always gone to avoid each other and they never talk…literally. So they probably thought the other was going to be home with me for Christmas but…they are both gone."

"Wow. Things sure aren't like the old days. Where are you now?"

"I'm with Eli."

"Ah…Eli, the one I've read so much about."

"Yeah… you could come over too if it's okay with Eli's family."

"Well call me back and tell me what they say."

I got up and stretched to try and wake up my body. When I opened the door Eli was coming down the hall.

"Eli I have a big favor to ask you."

"What?"

"My sister just got home from Africa. I didn't know she was coming home for the holidays this year. Could she come over here?"

"Sure. It will be nice to meet another member of your family."

I told Darcy it was all clear. A few minutes later she arrived in a cab. It's been a year and half since I've laid eyes on her. We hugged and greeted each other. Afterwards we went into the house and I introduced her to Eli's family and… Eli.

"Everyone this is my older sister Darcy. Darcy, this is Elijah…"

"Actually it's just Eli."

"Hi Eli."

"This is his lovely mom Cece."

"Hi honey, it's so good to have you and your sister with us for the holidays."

"Thanks for having me."

"And this is his dad Bullfrog."

"Hello Darcy, Clarabelle has told us all about you."

"Nothing bad hopefully."

"Just about your work in Africa."

"Oh."

After everyone met we all sat down to a Christmas Eve feast of beef roast, potatoes and coke with Molasses gingerbread cake for dessert. I was in food heaven! I had seconds on both dinner and dessert. I guess not having a home cooked meal in almost a year takes a toll on a person. I didn't feel bad though, everybody was having seconds of Cece's food luckily. It's just… not like me to have more than one serving.

After dinner we all gathered around the TV and watched some classic Christmas horror movies. What did you expect with the Goldsworthys? Soon Cece and Bullfrog got tired and went to bed. It was just us three up.

"So Darcy, how long are you staying home?"

"I'm back for good. Africa was great and my mission helped those kids but it's over now and I need to come back and live my life."

"Oh."

"So um, Clare where are you sleeping tonight?"

"I'm actually sleeping with Eli… so you will have the guest room to yourself. Cece has awesome movies in there."

"You know mom would flip."

"Yeah I know but I don't really care. She's not acting like a mom and dad isn't acting like a dad. I'm raising myself and I'm sleeping with my boyfriend."

"Okay okay…wait, figuratively or literally?"

"Both."

"We have tons to catch up on."

"Yes we do."

"But we have time since I'm back for good. Eli where is your bathroom and guest room?"

He led told her where everything was and we bid her goodnight. It was just me and Eli up now.

"What do you want for Christmas Eli?"

"Does it matter? All the stores are closed."

"Just answer the question."

"Nothing… just you. What do you want for Christmas?"

"I getting kind of tired, want to go to bed?"

"Hey you can't just skip my question."

"Maybe I'll answer tomorrow."

It's not late but everybody is tired. I guess I'm not complaining though. I get to stay up and talk to Eli. Maybe if I'm lucky we'll see Santa tumbling through the chimney.

**Olive**

Reese and I have only been dating for a couple weeks but I can tell things are going to be good. There's been no mention of any exes or baby's mothers so I'm taking that as a good sign. It's Christmas Eve and we are downtown looking at all the lights and decorations. I finally have my boot so I can hold his hand instead of those blasted crutches!

We stopped at a vendor and got hot chocolate before sitting down on a bench to watch the enormous tree. It was cold and every time the wind blew it felt like the air was cutting me but I didn't care because I was sitting with Reese. I like talking to him and apparently he loves talking to me too because whenever I'm quiet he asks me things about myself to make me talk. Even though I'm freezing I could stay out here with him all night but my mom gave me and Bianca a curfew. I have to be home by ten and I'm cool with that. My mom is finally off and this is our chance to see her.

"So I know we said we weren't exchanging presents this year but I got something for you."

"Reese you shouldn't have done that… I got you something too. Well I made it."

"Is is a macaroni picture?'

"No."

He's always out without a scarf so I knitted him one. Ms. Suave said I should get a hobby so I did.

"I really like this scarf Olive. Thanks… Unfortunately I'm not as gifted as you so I had to buy a gift. I really hope you like it. Close your eyes."

I felt something cold and metal around my neck. When I was instructed I opened my eyes and I looked down. It was a locket. Mind you, I've never been a locket kind of girl but I really like this. It's pretty.

"It's pretty."

"Read the inscription."

"Beautiful girl… Thanks Reese."

"Thanks for the scarf."

He kissed me. We've kissed before but not like this. It wasn't a peck and it lasted more than three seconds. It was pleasant and full of spark. It gave me butterflies and it left me speechless. The only thing wrong with this moment is that as soon as the kiss ended I thought of Eli and I don't know why. Maybe because I feel like Reese and I are getting a little serious, maybe it's because Eli was my last deep kiss. Either way, I didn't let the thought of him get me down. I enjoyed a few more kisses with Reese before we went home. Oh, I even kissed him goodnight.

When I was walking into he house Drew was leaving.

"Rushing off so soon Torres?"

"My mom wants me home."

"Well tell Adam I said Merry Christmas."

"You'll see him tomorrow night."

"I know but still."

"Okay okay."

I went into the house where Bianca and my mom were painting each other's nails and watching _A Diva's Christmas Carol…_ This movie is the best! I changed into my pajamas and joined the party. This is a happy moment but a bit of sorrow crept up on me. Every Christmas I always think about my dad. I don't remember him much, just that he was tall and he had crazy long dreads. He died when I was little. Even though I don't have any real memories of him I still wonder what Christmas…what life would be like if he were around.

After that movie went off we all cuddled under a huge blanket, shut off the lights, got the microwaveable pork rinds and we watched _Titanic_ like we do every year. As always Bianca was the first one to cry.

**Eli**

I'm nervous to give this gift to Clare. I don't want my parents to know its significance but I want her to have it. Even if it is a few years too soon. She's worried that I will go to college and forget about her. This gift will show her that even if I were trying to… I couldn't forget about her.

I looked at the clock. I was four in the morning and Clare was cuddled under my covers lightly snoring. She looked so peaceful. I tapped her shoulder lightly and she moved. I shook her gently and she jumped.

"Eli what is it?"

"Merry Christmas."

I opened the little velvet box and I showed her the ring.

"Eli it's beautiful."

"Clare this is a pre-engagement ring."

"What is that?"

"It means that someday we'll get married but until we are mature and old enough to get engaged, this is going to be a symbol of my love and commitment to you. I know you are apprehensive about me going to college and I just wanted to let you know that I'll still love you no matter what."

"Eli this is the perfect gift."

I slipped the ring on her finger and she went over to her bag. She pulled out a neatly wrapped little box. I opened it carefully trying not to mess up her hard work too much. I opened the box and saw that it was a skull hood ornament.

"I noticed that the other skull wasn't there anymore and I figured he'd gotten lost in the wreckage so I got you another one… it's a dumb gift but you really liked that skull. You started a war with Fitz because of it."

"Clare this is the perfect gift! When I went to the car accessories place to get one the other week they were all out and it got discontinued."

"I got the last one and it wasn't easy. I had to argue with a biker to get him to hand it over."

"Thanks Clare."

"Thanks Eli… is this ring real?"

"Check it."

She ran the rock across a hand mirror and it cut it. I've been saving up my pennies...

**Reviews please? Thanks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Olive**

"Reese I promise I won't eat the whole thing…I just want a little taste."

"No way…that's what you said about the milkshake and look what happened. When it comes to you and icecream I don't trust you."

"Well I'm hurt."

"You'll get over it. Hey I'm going to the restroom for a sec…don't eat my sundae while I'm gone."

"Sure…okay."

It's New Year's eve and the Dot is hosting an icecream social. Of course I had to be here seeing that I love all things icecream. Reese is my date. Even though our relationship is young he's labeled me at his girlfriend and I'm okay with that. While I stole a few bites of his strawberry cake sundae the worst thing in the world happened. I was suddenly confronted with my worse fear.

A chilly hand grasped my forearm. I looked to see that it was Vinny.

"Olive DeSousa. Long time no see…."

"Get away from me."

"Aw is that how you treat me after…"

"Get away from my Vinny I'm not kidding."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

The next thing I saw was a flash of black before Vinny hit to ground with Eli on top of him desperately trying to win the fight. Reese came out and assisted and in breaking up the fight.

"Dudes, what's going on here?"

"Just taking care of this sick bastard. Don't worry Olive."

"What's going on here? Eli what are you talking about? Olive…what's…."

Therapy was helping and things were starting to get back to normal…now this. I wasn't ever going to tell Reese about this. It was in the past. It's just a shame that the past came into this restaurant and bit me in the ass. By now everybody was looking so I whispered my secret in Reese's ear. He started attacking Vinny.

"You two both hit like a bunch of little bitches…kind of like Olive."

He thinks he can do what he done to me again! Well he's wrong! Before I had time to stop myself or really think it through I'd grabbed a fork and jabbed Vinny in the chest with it a couple of times. My sister, Drew and his friends were just walking through the door. Reese pulled me away while Eli got the fork from my hand.

"Crazy bitch!"

"You're the crazy one your rapist!"

"Olive! Olive what happened?"

"Bianca your sister is crazy."

"No you are crazy you pervert."

"Just get out of here dude."

"Nice, you get Degrassi's QB 1 to stand up for you."

"No not just him but everyone in this place."

Wow even Peter is on my side. Vinny knew he'd never win this fight so he left and as soon as he walked out the door I felt myself getting light headed. It all went black.

**Jared**

That bastard shouldn't have been able to walk away. I wish she'd killed him instead of graze his chest with a fork a few times. She deserved to have his blood on her hands as penance for his wrongs. To think I almost ended like him… I'm glad I'm not like him. I know what it's like to be the victim. I think it was kind of brave for Olive to stand up to her oppressor like that.

"Jared I know you are thinking about what happened to you."

"I am… You?"

"Me too… It's a shame rape happens to this many people."

"It is."

"But she fought him and now from the look in his eye I could tell he wouldn't be messing with her again."

"Yeah…well this new year has been eventful. We saw two fights, a stabbing and illegal fireworks being done in the streets."

"Hey, say what you will but illegal fireworks are the best."

"Whatever you say danger man… I better get inside. It's after two."

"Alright. Gerry I love you."

"What?"

"I love you…. I've wanted to tell you for the longest but I didn't know how. Is it too soon?"

"No...It's just that nobody has ever told me that before. I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me too… I mean if you do."

"I do… I love you too Jared."

Her lips tasted sweet like the strawberry Chap Stick she used all the time. After saying our goodbyes I walked home. When I got there I plopped down on the bed and I let my body crash into the pile of messed up covers around me. This time last year I was still living in fear and torment. It's amazing the changes that time brings about.

**Clare**

Last night was crazy. Poor Olive, I had no idea that happened to her. I guess life deals us all lemons. After she fainted we heard from Adam that she woke up a few hours later. I had a question to ask her. I didn't even know if last night would have been the appropriate time but now that I know what she's been through I have a proposition to make her.

I woke up before Eli… yes; I'm staying at the Goldsworthy's. I've basically moved in. They don't seem to mind and my parents don't either. Anyways, I got dressed and I snuck Eli's car keys of the nightstand. I wrote him a note so that he wouldn't think Morty had been kidnapped. The engine roared to life and I backed the big long car out of the driveway…taking out two of the neighbor's trashcans in the process… you know, what Eli doesn't know won't hurt him.

On the way to Olive's I ran onto the curb four times and I hit a dog and I accidentally ran over a drunken homeless guy. Luckily they were both okay. When I finally arrived my nerves took over. What if she still hates me? What if Bianca kicks my ass? What if Olive kicks my ass, even though she's in a boot I know she can still kick ass. I knocked on the door and Bianca answered.

"Well well well… Saint Clare, what brings you to our humble abode?"

"Is Olive in?"

"Yeah. You can go on back to her room."

"She doesn't have any forks back there does she?"

"She's not that mad at you…anymore. You'll be fine."

I walked back and I knocked on the door twice.

"Come in."

I walked in and she rolled her eyes while exhaling loudly.

"Bianca is playing jokes again. What do you want Clare?"

"Look I know we aren't best friends.."

"….."

"I know I haven't been the best person."

"…."

"I did you wrong and I'm wrong for it. Please talk to me now."

"Well, okay. What is it?"

"Look… Last night was crazy."

"Aw man not you too. I don't need any pity parties."

"This isn't a pity party I swear! I was almost in your shoes remember? Anyways… Eli and I co-wrote a play."

"Keep talking."

"It's about rape and sexual abuse."

"Keep going."

"It's called 'Hidden'…"

"What's that got to do with me?"

"We think we could make this a weekend long event with your help. Everybody knows that you can draw and paint. If you'd be willing to showcase some of your paintings for a silent auction and organize the whole thing so that others could put in their works too it'd be great. It'd also be kind of nice if…you'd do the art for the play as well."

"Well what's the point? Why are we doing it?"

"We are going to raise money for an organization that provides therapy, help and information to people about sex crimes, sexual abuse, incest and all that. Not only that but some of the proceeds are going towards sponsoring Degrassi's very own sexual abuse and suicide hotline."

"Where would this showcase be?"

"Why the gym of course…"

"One condition."

"Anything."

"You have to promise not to let Adam have a dance, gala or ball of any sort for this event."

"Oh I can't promise you that but a little music and dancing can't hurt right?"

She agreed and I can't believe it. She didn't seem to hate me for the first time in months. I walked out of the house and I went back to Eli's with a sausage "McGriddle" sandwich as a peace offering. Maybe…just maybe he won't notice the itsy bitsy scratch and the tiny little crack in his headlights…or the feathers from the birds I accidentally ran over.

When I pulled up he was standing in the driveway looking pissed. When I saw his face I knew I was in trouble and when he saw the car I knew I was dead meat. He got really calm and he came around to me. He motioned for me to roll down the window. He must know there is no way in hell I'm leaving this car right now.

"Hi Clare."

"Hi Eli...Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah I did actually."

"I bought you a McGriddle sandwich."

"Thanks thanks...so I have a question."

"Ask away."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"

"Eli don't be mad! I was just taking Morty out for a spin."

"Clare there is no such thing when you don't have a license."

"I had to go ask Olive something."

"It couldn't have waited?"

"I didn't want you to be with me!"

"Poor Morty…He's all beat up. You scratched him and dented him and you ran over some birds! Clare you are a murderer! Their beaks are on my tires!... Why is there blood on my car?"

"I hit a dog…and a drunken homeless guy."

"Clare you pulled a hit and run!"

"No he was okay. He was already bleeding."

"Well…give me the keys and get out of the car."

"I'm scared."

"If I have to ask you again your punishment will multiply."

"Okay."

I got out and I handed him the keys. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger while silence took over for a couple seconds.

"Just go to your room and think about what you've done?"

"You're sending me back home?"

"Well not your room per say….my room."

"Oh…"

I went up to his room and I sat on the bed. I guess I really shouldn't have taken Morty. I don't have a license after all and Eli's so crazy about him. I guess a punishment would be in order. Eli came into the room with a stern look on his face.

"Clare, I'm disappointed in you but at least you told the truth. Now I was going to punish you by making you sleep in the guest room. But I decided that's too harsh."

"Thank goodness."

"I'm just gonna cut you off for two weeks."

"Cut me off?"

"No sex….none, what so ever."

"But it's not fair!"

"I'm putting my foot down and I'm pulling my britches up."

"Fine…no sex for two weeks."

He smiled and sat beside me on the bed.

"So what were you asking Olive?"

"About the art showcase and art for the show."

"Oh...did she agree?"

"Yes…but she has a condition..."

"What?"

"We have to keep Adam from planning a dance."

"Mission impossible."

**Reviews please…I need some suggestions and feedback. You all have gotten quiet on me lately. =)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Olive**

So it's the day of the showcase and things have been fine up until this point but now Clare and I can't seem to agree on the color of the cloth we are going to stream from the ceiling for decoration.

"Well Olive, red would make the artwork pop…"

"Well Clare, black wouldn't be so distracting and alarming… It wouldn't be all 'hey look at me!' I would just let the paintings do what they do."

"Well Olive… Red woul…"

"Ladies ladies ladies. The problem has been solved because I told them to bring white. So see, this argument was in vain.

"Adam why white?"

"It matches the colors for tonight's ball."

Yes, even though I begged him not to he planned another dance but I guess it isn't all bad… It's extra money for the foundation and the hotline plus after the intense emotional rollercoaster of the play and the art showcase people are going to need something fun to have them leave on a happy note.

As soon as the cloth arrived I started climbing up ladders stringing it from the gym's ceiling. I'm finally boot free and my leg is doing great. While I was up in the air I felt a little shake from down below. I looked and Reese was there with a playful grin on his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing… just wondering if I shake this and you fall will I be able to catch you like in the movies?"

"Don't try it please! I just got out of one cast, I don't need another!"

I climbed down to greet him. Adam's had him busy all week with things for the ball and I've been busy with planning this, doing the paintings and also making art for the play. Between our two very different itineraries we haven't had much time together but tonight that's going to change hopefully.

Reese managed to get away from Adam long enough to help me hang the rest of the cloth from the ceiling then I enlisted the football team's help in hanging the pictures. I didn't want to hang them from the walls like normal so instead I hung some wire thread from the ceiling, attached it to one end and I attached more to the bottom end and taped that string to the floor to keep the painting from swinging, that way it can almost look like the pictures are floating in mid air.

After the tedious task of prepping the gym was done I rushed home where Bianca was waiting with a flat iron.

"Do I have to?"

"Come on! Your hair is totally frizzed out from the rain we had earlier this week… This is a big night. You have to look your best."

"Well don't burn my ears and let me at least shower first."

After I was done showering I slipped on my dress. It was a powdery pink floor length dress with one flowery strap. It was pretty. I put on a robe over it so that it wouldn't be ruined by the makeup or hairspray. Bianca clicked and curled away with the flatiron and she stayed true to her word…she didn't burn my ears. She pinned my hair back with pearl combs. I also slipped on some pearl earrings. My makeup was light and natural too… I felt pretty.

"Bianca why are you looking at me that way?"

"Because you look so beautiful… Degrassi is gonna be super classy tonight."

"Yeah it is. Adam made us have formal attire. At first it was just for the ball but we decided to make it for everything."'

"Well…you're going to knock their socks off. Now get out of here. I know you have to be there early. I'll see you at the show!"

"Okay."

When I got out of the bathroom I took off the robe and looked at myself in the mirror. I do look pretty. I grabbed my shawl and I went into the living room where m mom was coming through the door with a dress.

"Mom. Hi."

"Oh Olive, you look so pretty!"

"You are coming tonight?"  
>"Well it was supposed to be a surprise. I took off so that I could see you. I thought you'd be gone by now and I was just going to come with Bianca."<p>

"I'm so happy you're going to get to come. Hey now that you're here you will get to meet Reese."

"The infamous Reese huh? When's he coming?"  
>Right then the doorbell rang and I answered it. Reese looked nice in his black and white tux. He looked…classic. I invited him in to meet my mom. They greeted and she asked him a few standard questions before she released us.<p>

"I think she likes you."

"That's great… you look beautiful."

"Thanks. You look handsome."

"Ah this old thing… my dad got married in it."

"Really?"

"Nah…it's a rental so I guess somebody has gotten married in it."

We went to Degrassi and it was like a totally different place. There were twinkle lights at the entrance and in the building guiding people where they were supposed to go. There weren't many people there yet but the tickets were sold out so the crowd is supposed to be big. I went to the gym and I thanked the artists for contributing. I made sure everything was in tip top shape and then the hoards started coming in. Mr. Simpson was in charge of the actual auctioning but I had to make a speech in front of everybody…that was the nerve wrecking part.

"Hello everyone. I hope you are enjoying the refreshments and art. We are here this evening to help contribute to people who are trying to make a difference. Sexual abuse is something that could happen to any of us and as horrible as it is to think… before our lifetime is over we probably will be victims of sexual abuse at least once. The foundation we are raising money for tonight helps people cope with abuse, it helps them recognize the signs and it helps them even prevent it. Also tonight you would be helping aid Degrassi in starting the first ever sexual abuse and suicide hotline. By making these small contributions tonight, you could be making a lasting impact in somebody's tomorrow. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your evening."

The crowd applauded and when I came away from the podium my family and friends commended me on the great speech. What made me feel even better was the fact that I saw credit cards being swiped, checks being written and cash being exchanged. One by one the paintings and drawings were taken down, wrapped and put in the lucky bidders' cars. By the time the showcase and auction were over there was only one painting left… my bathtub.

"I guess I get to take this home with me."

"Actually it's mine… I just refuse to have it wrapped in that lard paper. This drawing speaks volumes. I just wonder which one of these people is the artist?"

"It's me… Who are you?"

"This is Declan, Fiona's twin brother."

"Hello Adam, Clare…"

"I'm Olive De Sousa and this is my painting."

"You are talented. You cost me one hundred thousand dollars."

"O…Whoa… Thanks."

"No problem."

After Declan walked off I punched Adam in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You never told me Fiona was that rich!"

"You never asked."

Soon the time moved on and it was time to see the play.

**Eli**

Things are going okay. The actors could do better but… this isn't Hollywood and I'm not Spielberg. This is Toronto and I'm…. Goldsworthy. The set looks great and I know my script is brilliant. All in all I'd say the play is a winner. The crowd seems to be responding. Bullfrog and Cece have been talking to an older couple in front of us and they seem to love it so it must be okay.

As time progressed and the lines started to fly the end of the play came. Clare and I disappeared backstage for the casting call. It was weird being in front of all those people but I suppose it could be worse. Instead of a packed house I could have and empty one.

After the play came time for the dance. A lot of the older people left… even bullfrog and Cece who were hell bent on not embarrassing me like my grandparents embarrassed them. I finally had Clare all to myself for the first time in weeks and I wasn't going to let the moment slip away. I pulled her out on the dance floor for the first slow song that played.

"We should win an award…"

"We should Mr. Director."

"You know Clare…life is crazy."

"I know…"

"I got into TU."

"What?"

"Yeah… I got my letter a couple days ago."

"That's great."

"No what's great is the full scholarship."

"Eli! That's amazing! How?"

"I may or may not have told the dean about this thing we organized… That with my published works and amazing transcripts… he had to."

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks."

I kissed her and when it broke she beamed up at me with those deep blue eyes I love so much. In a few months things will be changing in my life but there's one thing I'm sure about… I will definitely still love this beautiful girl.

**I know its short…sorry. Reviews would be nice because I need some suggestions…Thanks!**


	18. Chapter 18

_So this is going to be the "big O" chapter…lol. If you don't know what that means well…just read and see. =D_

**Jared**

"What time will your mom be home?"

"Not until the after midnight. Why?"

"Because I want to do something… I want to try something. You've just been working so hard lately with the hotline and spring tryouts."

"Yeah…well…it's nothing really."

"And you let me stay here when you found out my dad got sent back to prison and I was about to be evicted."

"Anyone would have done it. Don't feel like you are in debt or anything."

"Just shut up and let me do this for you."

"Okay."

She kissed me and pushed me back on the bed. Of the two of us I'd definitely say she's the rougher one. She undone my pants and pulled out my cock and then she squirted some of her baby oil gel onto her hands. She placed her hands firmly around my shafted and moved then from base to head with just the right amount of pressure. She bit her lip as she concentrated on her craft.

She started moving her hands faster and faster and then she blew her minty cool breath onto the head of my penis. I released myself all over her hands and she smiled up at me.

"Did you like it?"

"I loved it! That was amazing."

"Great! I've never done anything like that before but I've been watching videos on how to 'please your man.'"

"Well your man is pleased…"

"Great. Now let's go or we'll be late for our double date with Bianca and Drew."

"Wait; don't you want me to return the favor?"

"One day but not yet. Maybe soon though."

We left for our double date. A concert and late night waffles is what's on the agenda for tonight and I'm looking forward to it. I feel somewhat released too…

**Clare**

Eli and Adam are gone to the car parts store! That's like Eli's version of heaven so he's sure to be there at least four or five hours. The best part is…they took Adam's car so Morty is here and Eli left his keys. The combination lock he used to have on his door is now on his dresser but luckily I remembered the code to get in. I popped to lock, opened the drawer and got the keys to freedom. I've had a few driving lessons. I think I'm road ready.

I hopped into Morty and I hit…the garage door because I accidentally put it in drive and not reverse. It only made a little dent on the door and I'm sure there's even less damage to Morty. I backed out and this time I only took one of the trashcans down. See, I am improving. I decided to go to my house to see Darcy. We don't get to spend a lot of time together because I'm not there but also because she's always busy working, fundraising for other missionaries, going to class or going to school… Plus she's taken over the community cheerleading team and they are trying to make it to regional's. Darcy is a very busy girl.

I pulled up into the driveway nearly taking out my bicycle. Darcy came out of the house with her eyes wide.

"Clare Diane Edwards. You stole a hearse!"

"No, I just borrowed Morty without asking Eli."

"He's going to murder you so if I guess it's fitting that the casket car is already present. You don't even have a license."

"I've been practicing."

"I can't argue with you about this now…geez I think you gave me less of a heart attack when you were all sweet and innocent and in your catholic school uniform. That boy corrupted you."

"Yeah he did but I'm still Clare."

"That you most definitely are. So what's up?"

"I just came to see you. Mom and Dad are gone I see."

"Yeah. They are gone like the wind. I would love to stay and catch up little sis but I have to go…like now because I have to go to tutoring for Italian class. You are welcomed to come with."

"No thanks… I get enough of school every day. I just wanted to see your bright and shining face."

"How sweet. I love you."

"Love you too Darc."

She drove off and went to her destination. I told you… she's a very busy girl. I hopped into Morty and I went to another location…the Bhandari residence. I tried my best to parallel park but I just ended up on the curb. I called Alli.

"Clare, what's up?"

"Bhandari come downstairs and bring your road trip glasses."

"What?"

"I kidnapped Eli's car!"

"Ahhhhh! I'll be right down!"

She jumped into the car and we took a little trip to the mall and then we went to the college campus Johnny was at. She had me honk the horn when we spotted him walking by. He jumped and looked around but we hid so he never even suspected it was us. You know, I'd never noticed before but college campuses are very green. I ran over a couple bushes. I'll have to clean Morty up before I take him home.

Our road trip eventually led us to a sex shop. The old me wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this but it's kind of fun looking at all the different crazy contraptions. Not that using half of this mess would be my style. I just think it's interesting to see and laugh at.

We'd stayed in "Madame Lucy's Fun Hut" longer than I expected and it was getting dark. I took Alli home, narrowly missing a wandering squirrel as he carelessly crossed the street.

When I arrived back at the Goldsworthys Adam's car was in the driveway and Eli was sitting on the trunk with that same stern expression. He waved goodbye to Adam and he got into Morty on the passenger's side.

"Drive…"

He directed me on where to turn but he wouldn't tell me where we were going. When we did reach our destination I realized it was the parking lot of an abandoned warehouse. What are we doing here?

"Clare what did we say about taking Morty?"

"Sorry Eli I just…"

He kissed me roughly and he nipped my lip with his teeth as the kiss broke. It was the roughest make out session known to man. Between kisses I was given a thunderous smack on the ass. He took my shirt off and unhooked my bra leaving me exposed. He started kissing my breasts, paying attention to my already hardened nipples. Every lap his tongue made around the sensitive area sent shivers through my entire body including down to my core.

Eli instructed me to climb over the seat and get into the back of Morty. I complied with his demands. He raised the skirt I was wearing over my head and then I felt the cold brush of metal against my skin. I looked back to see that he was cutting off my underwear with scissors.

"Why do you have scissors in here?"

"Why did you take Morty without permission?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Not yet you aren't."

A twinge of nervousness and excitement shot through my body at once as I watched him give me the most menacing and crooked smile I've ever seen. He told me to remain on all four and I did. Suddenly I felt his largeness entering me. It was a new sensation. He started right away with a quick pace. I'm not used to having it so rough but now I can see what the fuss is about. While he was drilling me from behind, he reached down and grabbed my hair, pulling me up by it. He held me close to him while keeping up the pace. With one hand he palmed my left breast while he kissed my neck and whispered nothings in my ear and with the other hand he massaged my clitoris vigorously. Suddenly my orgasm squirted out like a water hose. He chuckled slightly before sitting down.

"Come here Clare."

"What is it?"

He started pulling me onto his lap. I was facing him. I thought this would be the end of it and this would be the sweet embrace after the sex but I was wrong. While I was lowering myself onto Eli's lap I felt his long, hard shaft going into my still sensitive core! I couldn't move up either because he was carefully pushing me down onto his erection. By the time he was entirely inside me it felt like he was in my stomach.

"Eli I'm really, really sorry!"

He just kissed me and smiled before he started moving me up and down his shaft. Once I caught onto the rhythm I did the moving for myself. It was a new depth I'd never felt before but it felt good. I squirted again and he laughed tauntingly.

For the next position he flipped me over onto my back and swiftly put my legs above my head. I never knew I was so flexible! He drilled me slowly but deeply with lots of impact. I found myself cumming back to back. The orgasms were so intense and taking over my body in such a way that I started to cry.

"Why are you crying?"

"You won't stop making me cum!"

"Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes!"

I felt his warm essence pulse into me and fill me up. He released my legs from over my head and kissed my lips while he wiped away my tears. After a few minutes he got some "after sex wet wipes" from the bag he keeps in Morty and he had me lay back with my legs open while he cleaned me off. It was odd but extremely intimate.

"It will make a puddle if I just push it out."

"Just do it. I have wipes here to catch it."

"Suite yourself."

I pushed out the cum and it made a puddle. He looked astonished.

"Guess I'm healthy."

"I guess you are. Good thing I'm on the patch."

Eli was careful and gentle while cleaning me up. If I hadn't had my fill of sex for the day, I'd be ready for another round but at this point I can't even feel my legs. I flipped over the front seat after I got redressed and we went to a little burger joint to eat.

"So what was the lesson today?"

"Don't steal Morty."

"That's right…Did I hurt you?"

"No."

"Good. I was scared that I did."

"It was rough but I liked it."

"Then why'd you cry?"

"I'd squirted so many times in a row that I was overwhelmed."

"Oh."

So sex and female ejaculation isn't what people usually talk about over burgers and fries but I guess we aren't most people. After dinner we went back home and he carried me over the threshold in his room. After I bathed I slept like I've never slept before.

**Olive**

"Say my name…."

"Mmmm oh gosh! Reese!"

So we haven't officially had sex but Reese has been doing down on me for an hour and half. It's amaaaayyyyyzzzing! When I finally sobered up from the fourth huge orgasm I've had since he started I realized that half of my body was hanging off of the bed. I guess I lost track of my movements. Before he could start his magic mouth again I stopped him.

"Wait…"

"What is it? I thought you liked it?"

"I do… I just need an orgasm break. I'm about to have a heart attack."

"Oh."

"You know you didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to make you feel good… plus I kind of like that way you say my name when you're cumming. It's sexy."

We ended up falling asleep on my bed. It was relaxing to have him hold me while we slumbered. Unfortunately when I woke up to turn over he was gone but there was a note.

_Olive, I have to go home because its three in the morning and my dad will kill me if I stay out until dawn. Have a wonderful…er…early morning. _

I blushed to myself and I put the letter in my nightstand for safe keeping. Generous, gifted and thoughtful. Can he get any better?

**Eli**

Clare was sleeping soundly so I went outside to inspect the damage done to Morty. My poor Morty! He had branches all in his teeth and little scratches on his hood… He even had a dent in his grille… She chipped his tooth! As I looked at the side and back of the car the scratches only got worse. She should really be glad I love her.

I went back into the house and I went straight to the kitchen. I think I need a drink. Bullfrog just happened to be sitting at the table having a beer…He tossed me a can and I sat down too.

"So what's the damage?"

"She didn't appear to run over anybody this time but she did hit something and there were branches in the grille so she was apparently driving through some kind of wilderness or shrubbery."

"You think that's bad… Did I ever tell you about the time your mom stole my car?"

"No."

"Man… she waited until I was out of town with a band I was a roadie for and she took it for a joyride. She'd never driven a car before but I guess she had that unfortunate confidence that terrible drivers have. I didn't know she was gone until I got a call from her saying that she'd driven halfway into the Arctic Circle on her route to the North Pole and gotten a flat. I had to call the authorities. Luckily there was a camera crew documenting wildlife there so you two were rescued."

"I was with her on this crazy adventure?"

"Oh yeah… you were in the backseat."

"Awesome."

"My point is…it could be a lot worse."

"Point taken. Goodnight dad."

I went upstairs to see Clare stretched out across my bed taking up all the space. She was even lying on my pillow and covering it with drool. I must be in love because even in this state she's simply lovely. I scooted her over and switched pillows with her then I went to bed. I better not tell Clare Cece went to the Arctic Circle in my dad's car. It might give her more outrageous joyride ideas.

**Reviews please! Knowing that people are actually reading gives me fuel to update. Thanks!**


	19. Chapter 19

**PROM TIME! This chapter is going to be mostly from Clare's POV**

**Clare**

I cannot believe I let Eli talk me into getting a black prom dress. Even though it looks nice on me it will still be a shock to people. Everybody is used to seeing me in colors…pastels…neon, but never black. The dress is silk and very clingy, which is also a little than the dresses I'm used to wearing. It stops just below the knee and the top is corseted. To make a long story short, the thing screams 'sex' to the world. Cece curled my hair and put it in a very free up do. I finished off the look with a red rose in my hair.

After I'd put on my shoes and grabbed my purse I went downstairs where Eli was standing and talking to Bullfrog and Cece. Once everyone caught wind of me though all talking ceased. Eli helped me down the last few stairs and Cece snapped a million pictures.

"Now you kids be safe out there! No drinking and driving…or drugging and driving and I know you'll probably continue being sexually active tonight so remember to use protection because the pill isn't always one hundred percent!"

"Cece geez you are embarrassing me!"

"Yeah Cece, leave the kids alone."

"Goodnight Bullfrog and Cece, I'll have Eli back at a decent hour."

"Goodbye Clare…. Goodbye Eli."

We got into Morty. Eli was a gentleman tonight. He helped me and closed the door for me. I could really get used to this princess treatment. We arrived at Degrassi. There were twinkle lights everywhere along with metallic cut out stars. This is definitely Adam's doing. We checked in at the front and walked down the dimly lit, romantic looking hallway. Once we entered the gym it was amazing how it looked. Adam is really good at this whole party throwing thing.

On the walls and ceiling there were projected stars. It was dark enough for them to be visible and it looked like we'd stepped into the cosmos. Streaming down from the ceiling was cloth in all different colors. It looked like a nebula. It was so beautiful. It was truly a night under the stars…all thanks to Adam.

"Well well well…look what the cat dragged in."

"Adam! This is phenomenal!"

"Yeah, it was nothing really… You should see what I'm going to pop out of the closet for our prom. That's going to be something to see. By the way Clare, you look astonishing."

"Thanks Adam, you look great too. Where is Fiona?"

"She's in the bathroom. Eli you cleaned up nice."

"Thanks man, you too."

"I can't believe it's over."

"What's over Adam?"

"The three musketeers! You're breaking up the group Eli…"

"Aw don't act that way. You and Clare still have each other and your circle of friends."

"Yeah whatever. Don't try to justify your abandonment."

"Adam, I have to graduate. Drew's graduating too… you aren't badgering him."

"That's because it's a miracle Drew is graduating… I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm going to miss you man."

"Adam you still have one more week of me being at school with you guys."

"Yeah…one more week and then you are going to forget all about poor little me. You're going to start hanging out with your college friends. They will probably be guys with beards who drink coffee and talk about conspiracy theories and philosophy all day."

"Adam you'll always be my best bud I swear! We'll still hang and read comics and go party…"

"Well…you better keep your promise because if you don't, I'll kick you in the balls."

"I know you will."

The bromance may be the strongest bond known to man. I watched Eli and Adam bicker until Fiona came over. We greeted with a hug.

"Clare you look so pretty. The black makes your eyes pop!"

"Thanks Fi! You look amazing too!"

"Thanks."

I greeted all of my friends. Alli and I squealed when we saw each other. I told her my dress was going to be different and she didn't believe me.

"Oh my gosh! Clare! This is so…sexy. Eli what have you done to my friend?"

"Just loved her…"

"Alli you look amazing."

"Thanks. I figure tonight is good as any other night to be on the prowl."

"Well good luck with that."

"Thanks, I'm gonna need it with these slim pickings."

She walked away and then for the first time tonight Eli had me all to himself. There was a mixture of lust and adoration in his eyes. I like it when he looks at me that way. He held me by my waist and we swayed to the music. He kissed the back of my neck and we conversed without words.

What Adam said started to sink in as I stood there in Eli's embrace. After this week and this summer he'll be going to college. I mean I know he's committed to me but it won't be the same without Morty being in that parking lot to take me home or without his warm embrace between classes. I won't be able to eat off of his lunch tray or edit stories with him anymore. I'm going to miss him.

"Blue eyes what's the matter? You've gotten quiet all of the sudden."

"Just thinking about what Adam said."

"You know he overreacts."

"But… I will miss you."

"Well you have me here now. Plus, after this next year is up you'll be in college with me."

"But what if my grades slip and I don't get into college? Or I can't afford the dorms and tuition!"

"If you can't afford the dorms we will just get an apartment together and you will be able to make tuition. You are smart and involved."

"What if you don't want to hang around me in front of your older college friends?"

"I will Clare, you know I don't care what people think."

"I'm just scared I guess."

"Well don't be… Oh and Cece and Bullfrog told me to ask you something important."

"What?"

"They want to know if you'd like to stay with them next year too. With me gone they'll be lonely. They could use the company."

"Sure…that sounds great. Can I make over your room?"

"No."

"Rats. I was just thinking of how a little pink woul…"

"Touch my room's décor and… just please don't."

"Chillax, I was just kidding honey."

We danced and drank punch. It was your typical prom but what made it extraordinary was being with Eli. For prom king and queen Drew and Bianca won. People have really warmed up to her lately and of course he was a shoe in. After their dance and a few more hours of music and dancing the momentous occasion was over. It wasn't really any different from a regular dance. The only change is that this is the last big dance for the seniors. After this its only parties in stinky little frat houses and clubs. I'm really going to miss Eli

When the prom was over we told our friends goodbye and then we hopped into Morty. Eli didn't seem to be taking the path home so I'm guessing we are going on an urban adventure. We ended up at a hotel.

"What are we doing here?"

"Well…having sex at home is out of the question and having sex in Morty isn't the most comfy or discreet. Plus, you deserve to have a bed so I figured we'd be cliché and do it in a hotel room tonight."

"Great."

We went into the hotel room. It was decorated! It even had a heart on the bed made of flower petals. The best part though, was that there was a heart shaped hot tub. I think Eli outdone himself this time.

After he closed the door I felt my dress being unzipped. He isn't wasting any time tonight.

"A little impatient?"

"Just a little."

The dress fell around my ankles and I walked out of it. He's already taken off his shirt and pants. I wrapped my legs around his waist as we kissed and he carried me to the bed. We both crashed into to sheets and the blitz of pleasure began.

Foreplay wasn't really necessary. The main attraction had to start immediately or we probably would have burst into flames from our bodies burning in lust. He went into me briskly. Our bodies took no time falling into rhythm with each others. While he delivered deep, rapid strokes to my waiting core I grinded my hips, giving us both a heightened sensation. My toes started to curl and my leg started to twitch as I got closer and closer to elation. I moaned out Eli's name and he went a little deeper making my soft moan go up a few decibels. I held onto him tight as I inched a little closer to orgasm. My nails went into his back making tiny marks. I doubt he notices. Suddenly the big wave crashed over me and Eli. It stirred my body in the most amazing way. It felt like I could feel the Earth move, or feel the sun's warm light even though its night time.

I noticed that I'd wrapped my legs around Eli's waist. He kissed my shoulders and smiled at me while he leaned in to kiss my lips. I don't think he minds much. When we got enough energy we got into the hot tub. It's a good thing Eli bought us a change of clothes. The hot tub was the perfect way to end the night! We sat together and talked again about college and our future. I can only hope things don't change for the worst. There's really nothing I can do but wait and see because whether I like it or not…the future is on its way.

**I know it's shorter than usual…sorry…Reviews please? Thanks!**


	20. Chapter 20

**This is the last chapter, thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoyed it! =)**

**Eli**

It's the day of my graduation and I'm so excited I could…pee and a million times, which I'm currently doing. It's only noon and I've been to the bathroom at least a dozen times. I guess I'm nervous or something. I know I'm seen as a total badass but truth be told, the thought of walking in front of…everybody makes me have to pee.

When I came out of the bathroom I went back downstairs. Cece was decorating for the get together I was having after the ceremony. I heard the radio playing; Bullfrog was on it giving me props by way of the air. This day is really happening. It just feels so surreal… I know I'm only graduating high school and that isn't really a huge accomplishment but I'm scared a little.

Clare came through the door holding my dry cleaned suit. I greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and Cece "oohhed and awed" at us. I put the clothes in a safe place and I sat down for lunch. A cold cut turkey sandwich with chips a coke and a Twinkie. Lunches just don't get any better than this. As I was eating my last few chips the doorbell rang and the smell of whiskey filled the air. This can only mean one thing…

"Gram gram!"

"Oh look at you! All grown up and graduating!"

"Gram gram I want you to meet my girlfriend… Clare."

"Clare I've heard so much about you! You must be one heck of a woman to put Lijey in the nuthouse."

"Gram gram!"

"Okay okay… It's nice to meet you Clare…Hello, that is one huge rock on your finger."

"What rock?"

"Cece certainly you and my son have seen this."

"What Ruthie?"

"The rock on Clare's finger."

"What rock? Baby boy…what rock?"

"The one I gave Clare for Christmas."

"On which finger."

"Left ring."

"Are you two engaged?"

"No Cece…"

"No Ms. Goldsworthy. Eli just gave me the ring as a sign of commitment…it's a pre-engagement ring."

"Oh, Ruthie it's a pre-engagement ring."

"Lijey you didn't happen to give her that ring because she's pregnant did you?"

"Gram gram no, Clare isn't pregnant."

"Okay…because I remember your father gave you mom a 'promise ring' and a few months later they were at the altar saying I do while you were crowning. I just want what's best for you."

"Ruthie I've taught Eli the importance of safe sex."

"But you never were very assertive Cecelia… Just saying."

My grandma went up to the guest room and my mom counted to ten. She and my grandma never get along. As I saw Cece's face turning red I walked over and gave her a hug.

"Cece it's going to be okay."

"You're right…she's only here for one night… one night and then she'll hop back on her Harley and ride out of our lives again."

I went to get ready for graduation. Everything is about to change but one thing is for certain. My friends, family and the love of my life…never will. Oh, and my car. No matter what, Morty stays.

**Clare**

Eli's grandma was really colorful. I can tell she and Cece have battled before. She seems like the overbearing type. It kind of reminds me of my mom and grandma. I guess all mothers are skeptical of their son's wives.

I showered and put on the floral belted dress I was wearing to the graduation. Eli went into the bathroom after me. He had to rush in to pee. He's nervous. Probably more nervous than I've ever seen him before.

I slipped into his room and I pulled out the gift I got him. Well actually its two gifts, I just put them in the same box. The first is skull cufflinks. The second is a plain silver band with "I twisted your rubber arm" inscribed on the inside. I made his bed and then laid the tiny box and the love letter on his pillow. I hate giving gifts. It makes me feel awkward so I left before he could get into his room.

When I got downstairs Gram gram was sitting in the living room having tea with Cece, though I suspect Gram gram added a little "spice" to her tea. I could smell is from across the room.

"So Clare, how did you and Eli meet?"

"He ran over my glasses at school and then a few days later we got paired as writing partners…ever since then we've been inseparable."

"Until you dumped him and he got put in the looney bin?"

"It was a dark time for us both."

"Ruthie Eli had some issues he needed to work through and losing Clare helped him see that."

"It helped him see the noose he wrapped around his neck."

"Gram gram I didn't try to hurt Eli and I never would so don't make it look like it was my entire fault. He had some problems like we all do and we had a rough patch like all good relationships have but he's better and we are happy. I love him more than anything."

I cannot believe I just stood up to Gram gram! She got a stern look on her face and she put her cup down. Cece looked really worried. I think I'm about to be bitch slapped. Gram gram got up from her chair and walked over to me. To my surprise she pulled me into a hug.

"I like her Cecelia! She's got a little bite to her! She stood up to me! You're a keeper alright Clare… Welcome to the family."

"Thanks."

Wow, I earned Gram gram's respect. It was easier than I thought… Eli called my name and I went upstairs to see what he wanted. Once I arrived he was standing there with the present and the love letter.

"This is…the perfect graduation gift Clare."

"Yeah, well you didn't think you'd be the only one giving out rings did you?

"The letter is nice too. I feel exactly the same way, only I love you more than you love me."

"What? No, I love you more."

"No… I love you more so just accept that fact."

"Whatever Eli. We'll see."

I helped him tie his tie and put on his cuff links. He looked nice. He always looks nice though. At least in my eyes. I went for the door but he pulled me back and kissed me. He closed the door quietly and locked it.

"What are you doing?"

"Celebrating."

We would have made love if Bullfrog hadn't knocked on the door to ask Eli about his aftershave. I guess there will be plenty of time to make love in the future. Things are about to change, it's going to be a huge change but hopefully it won't negatively affect me and Eli's relationship. Since absence makes the heart grow fonder maybe we'll just fall even deeper in love.

**Olive**

It's my sister's graduation day and I'm happy. We arrived at the school and my mom and I got seated while Bianca went to take her place in the line. It's going to be weird with it being just me around the house now because she's going to LA. She auditioned to be a dancer some singer and she got the gig. I just hope she doesn't forget where she came from. I and my mom sat next to Adam and the rest of the Torres crew. My mom and Mrs. Torres chatted while Adam and I talked.

"Man, I'm so looking forward to having the house to myself. I'm going to turn Drew's room into my office. Every president needs an office."

"Adam you are a mess. I'm going to miss Bianca."

"At least they are riding off into the sunset together. She's going to be dancing; he's going to playing for UCLA... I guess it all panned out."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Clare, Eli's parents and I'm guessing his grandma came and sat beside us. Clare looked happy, yet sad. I guess this would be a bittersweet day for her too considering the fact that Eli won't be at the same school as her anymore. At least she'll be in the same city as him though. It's not like he's moving to another country altogether like some folks I know.

The ceremony started and the graduates started walking across the stage on by one as their names were called. When they called Bianca my mom and I yelled at the top of our lungs….we yelled for Drew too. Clare was crying when Eli walked across the stage so I'm not sure if she's happy or sad. All I know is that tears were shed. When the ceremony was over I hugged Bianca, Drew and even Eli… I love Reese now but I'll never forget Eli. He was the first guy I've ever loved and he officially took my virginity. This will probably be the last time I ever see him and even though he hurt me… it's a little saddening. I just wish him well.

When we left the building Reese was outside leaning against the side of his car.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I just wanted to know if you'd like a ride to the restaurant."

"Sure… Mom, Bi.."

"Go Olive, we will see you there."

"Awesome!"

I got into the car with Reese and I kissed him on the cheek just because I felt like it. This will be us next year; I just hope fate's deciding winds blow us in the same direction…

**Jared**

"The QB1 spot is yours now bro…the captain's spot too. You have to lead Degrassi to victory. I'm leaving it in your hands."

"Drew are you serious?"

"Yeah…I already talked to Armstrong and everything. Do right by the team. I'll have my snitches telling me all the stats of your games."

"Dude, thanks."

"Don't mention it."

I got off the phone joyful at the prospect of being the QB1 and captain. It's going to be a lot of responsibility but I think I can handle it. Gerry came into the living room carrying the sandwiches for our picnic. She handed them to my mother who placed them in a cooler. We are going out to the park. It's going to be a pleasant Saturday.

We piled into my mom's car and I drove us to my favorite spot. The geese are rather friendly and the picnic tables are clean…at least as clean as a picnic table can be. We arrived and set up our outdoor feast.

"Jared and Ms. Lucy, I had to get the champagne glasses because the other cups were in the dishwasher…so I propose we make a toast."

"Gerry I think that's a great idea. I want to make a toast to the new little family we've formed. Jared and I have been through tons of bad times and now it seems things are good. We are just lucky to have you be a part of it Gerry."

"Thanks Ms. Lucy… I want to toast to you guys. Jared showed me that people can be decent and nice. He singlehandedly restored my faith in the human race. Ms. Lucy you took me in when I had nowhere else to go…thank you. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a real mom."

"Well… I want to toast to you beautiful ladies. Mom, we have had bad times but now is our time to be happy… I think God is going to give us so much happiness that we can't stand it because we survived the tornado that was our life up to a year ago. Gerry, thank you for helping me heal and help myself."

Life is great. There is nothing more to say. Though it's no fairy tale… I'm no prince, my mom is no queen and Gerry is no damsel in distress things seemed to have fallen into place perfectly and even though I endured hell, I have to think it was so I could end up here…basking in the sun and a warm breeze with my mother and the girl I intend to love until there's no more love left in me. Life…is as close to perfect as it can get.

**Well that is the end. I hope you guys enjoyed it!**


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